by queenofdreams | Aug 30, 2018 | Fetish, Hypnosis, Uncategorized
This may seem like a rather dry/boring topic to cover but it is a very important one. It’s very easy, especially if you’re new to the scene, to get caught up in the flurry of excitement and pleasure and lose track of how much you’re spending. You risk overspending/spending beyond your means and losing control of the experience which is really not something that you want.
I want to offer you some advice, support and suggestions to help you really make the most of your hypnosis experience so that it can be an enjoyable and sustainable pleasure in your life. Please note that I am not a qualified financial adviser. I am not offering formal advice – simply friendly suggestions.
If you already have a hypnotist in mind to work with, then you should know their pricing for the various services they offer (mp3s, videos, customs, phone sessions, skype sessions and/or in-person sessions depending on the hypnotist). If you don’t already have a hypnotist in mind then I would recommend starting by reading my blog post “How to select a suitable hypnotist” first, then returning to this blog post as a follow up.
Step 1: Set your budget
So – let’s say you have a hypnotist you enjoy and want to support. First step – what is your budget? This can either be a hard and fast limit, or relatively flexible. Though if you add in “flex”, also add a firm cap. Say your budget is 300 per month maximum for hypnosis (I’m plucking a random figure out of the air), but you feel you can “stretch” that, place an absolute cap – so 350. Unless you are incredibly disciplined, don’t assume you can “borrow” from your budget month to month…so you spend 400 one month and assume you can rein yourself in and spend 200 the next month to balance things out. That’s a dangerous path to go down and not one i would recommend.
It’s important that you are realistic with your budget and only budget what you can legitimately afford for what is ultimately an “entertainment” expense.
Step 2: Formalise your “wish list”
what works for you and what do you want? Do mp3’s work for you? Is that all you’re after? Or would you like a live session to help you improve your ability to trance? Do you want/need one session (or a handful) to achieve what you have in mind, or would you like to make live sessions a regular thing? You can always speak with your hypnotist/hypnoDomme to get their input and suggestions, but at the end of the day you’re compiling your wishlist.
Also factor in whether you expect to send tributes and if so, how much and how often. You may not be sure at this stage so it’s perfectly okay to take an educated guess. Your wish list is a work in progress and is flexible. At this stage we are looking to get a better idea of what you want so we can see if we can make it tally with your budget, which is the next step.
Step 3: Bringing together your wishlist and budget
Alright…so, first thing to do is tally up how much your “ideal” month costs. So could be purchase of three recordings, two one hour live sessions and a 150 tribute. Recordings will vary, so you can average them out…for the sake of this example let’s say the average 20 each. Live sessions cost 150 each. We decided earlier that our budget was 300 a month so already it’s obvious that we are way over.
That’s okay – it’s given us a starting point to work from. So we could drop to one, one hour live session and adjust the tribute and lower it to bring us in budget…or two live sessions and no recordings or tributes. There’s no right or wrong way to work this, and the formula may change month to month as well…it’s simply intended as a flexible way to help you maintain your budget.
Why is it so important to have a budget?
Basically because when you’re caught up in something new, fun and insanely pleasurable it’s very easy to get carried away. If you blow your budget in the first month, it may spook you and put you off hypnosis and if it doesn’t and you keep on spending without budgeting you risk overspending in the longer-term which will have its own negative consequences which we obviously want to avoid.
Budgets don’t have to be rigid – you know yourself and if you’re honest with yourself you’ll be able to calculate how much leeway is reasonable. But having the assurance of a budget that you stick to will be a weight off your mind as you don’t have to worry about the financial implications – you can relax and enjoy your trance experience without being distracted and that is priceless.
by queenofdreams | Aug 27, 2018 | Fetish, Hypnosis, Uncategorized
An incredibly important, yet often overlooked aspect to enjoying erotic hypnosis involves giving careful and (arguably more importantly) honest consideration to what exactly it is you want to get out of the experience.
You could be indulging in erotic hypnosis for any number of reasons – curiosity, indulging a fetish/kink, exploring submission. These are all perfectly reasonable and legitimate reasons. You may even not be sure yet exactly what it is you do want from the experience. That’s okay, too.
What is vitally important, however, is that you are honest with yourself and your hypnotist. Honesty gives you a more genuine experience and allows your hypnotist to better tailor your experience to what you want.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have had clients tell me that their primary goal is submission – they want to submit to me and see hypnosis as a tool for deepening their submissive desires. Fantastic – except when it’s not what you actually want, and instead your genuine intention is to play out a particular fantasy or kink. Playing out a fantasy or indulging in a kink isn’t inherently wrong in any way (I can’t begin to emphasize this enough), but misleading your hypnotist is. It can lead to misunderstandings and potentially uncomfortable scenarios where the hypnotists suggestions don’t correlate with what you wanted. The hypnotist is working on the basis of you wanting to embrace genuine submission and you are working on the basis of playing out a specific fantasy you have.
Submission is just that – choosing to submit to the will/instruction of another individual who you trust and respect. Playing out a fantasy is selfish (and I don’t imply this in a negative way). You’re focusing on your own needs and desires rather than those of the person you are “submitting” to. Genuine submission is selfless – your satisfaction comes from serving and pleasing the person you have chosen to submit to.
We all deserve to have our needs met (assuming they’re legal/don’t harm others and all other common sense disclaimers that may apply), and personally speaking as long as you’re honest with me about what you want I am often happy to oblige. I am a big fan of pleasure and have built a career around making fantasies reality. It’s all good. Just don’t mislead me by telling me one thing when you mean/actually want something else as this kind of miscommunication can and does have consequences. It can make situations uncomfortable when we’re not both on the same page and neither of us want that, do we?
If you’re not entirely sure what you want – tell me. It’s okay. We can work it out together. Open, honest communication is absolutely essential to a healthy, fun and fulfilling experience. It may be that you think you want to embrace submission but after dipping your toe in the water you find that actually you’re more attracted to the kink aspect and you don’t like the commitment of genuine submission. Or perhaps you initially tell me that this is primarily a kink for you and then down the line you discover it’s become more and you really want to take things to the next level and genuinely submit and surrender to me and my control.
All these scenarios are fine as long as you are honest. I know I keep hammering on about this, but it is so vitally important. Honesty and communication are the foundations upon which a strong, healthy dynamic is built. I am primarily an erotic hypnotist – I also include Domme elements with some clients. This means I can adapt depending on what needs/desires you communicate to me.
Being honest with me and yourself will allow allow you to enjoy a more immersive, fulfilling experience. Take time. Think about what you want. Tell me. Simple!
What opinions do you have on this topic? Have you spent a lot of time really thinking about what it is you want? I want you to share your thoughts in the comments below.
by queenofdreams | Aug 20, 2018 | Hypnosis, Uncategorized
The longer I’ve been involved in the hypno-kink scene (hypnoDomme, erotic hypnosis, etc) the more painfully aware I become of how some guys seem to become so absorbed in their own kink and desires that they forget that the person they’re dealing with is a living, breathing human being and not simply some ethereal extension of their fantasies and desires.
I appreciate that it can get easy to get carried away as you indulge your mind and body and embrace the pleasures of what can be a truly transformative experience, but I also feel that it is appropriate not to lose sight of the fact that the person you’re interacting with is just that – a person. We may be excellent at what we do (I know I am, and I am proud of that fact – it’s the result of years of effort and practice on my part), but just because this is a transactional experience and you are paying for our time and expertise, it in no way entitles you to behave in a rude or impolite manner.
Just to clarify – not all clients are rude. Many of my clients are absolutely wonderful and I appreciate the mutual respect that exists. Some, however, believe that as they are paying for a service that means they are entitled to treat the person delivering the service in any way they want – rules and manners go out the window and are replaced with selfishness and poor conduct. Demands are made with no thought to appropriate conduct or respect. The “I’m paying you so I can say/treat you how I want” mentality takes over.
Let’s get one thing straight – such behavior is rude, inappropriate and will not be tolerated. If you try to behave that way with me I will decline to work with you. I absolutely love hypnosis and I love what I do. I actively encourage people to communicate their desires with me – but mutual respect is paramount. Yes, I am a hypnotist but I am also a human being. I have independent thoughts and feelings. I do what I do because I love it, but I also do it on my terms.
Those of you who know me already know that I go out of my way to be friendly and approachable. I do what I can to “give back” to the hypno community and I am happy to answer hypnosis related questions. Trance is an amazing experience and I want as many people as possible to be able to enjoy it – it’s one reason why I ensure my rates for Skype sessions are so reasonable. Yes, I could charge a lot more but I want to remain accessible.
I go out of my way to make trance a positive experience for people but the amount of disrespect I (and other hypnotists) receive on a daily basis is depressing. The all too common assumption that we somehow exist solely for your entertainment, or that if we love what we do then why don’t we do it for free? Making excessive demands of our time without paying for it (as I said before, I am happy to help but there are limits – please be mindful and respectful of my time and its value. Happy to answer the odd question but multiple queries which require time to respond to is not okay – that is time I could be spending earning money. We all have bills to pay, after all).
It doesn’t take much to show basic respect and decency. To show appreciation for your hypnotist and their work. Yes, we may love what we do (I know I do), but unless I win the lottery I simply cannot afford to offer my services for free and really do not appreciate people trying to take advantage of my good nature. I am sure other hypnotists feel the same way. I am a hypnotist but I am also a person. An individual. I think, I feel and yes, I get upset when I feel that people are being disrespectful and/or trying to take advantage.
You want to earn respect from someone? Give them respect. Show them you are worthy of their time by being a decent human being. It doesn’t take much. Basic manners go a long way. As a hypnotist I am to give all my clients a first rate experience. As a person I am much more likely to want to invest my time and energy into people who are kind, polite and respectful. You reap what you sow. You want a better connection with your hypnotist? Think about how you can be a better person. What you can do to be better for them and it will come back to you tenfold. Just ask any of my good boys. A good, solid relationship with an exceptional hypnotist can be a positive, transformative experience in your life but it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consideration and investment. Give and ye shall receive.
by queenofdreams | May 21, 2018 | Hypnosis
Choosing the “right” hypnotist to work with is very subjective, but also incredibly important. It’s also often overlooked and/or not properly understood and its implications appropriately appreciated. It’s very easy (especially if you’re new to hypnosis) to get caught up in the excitement and dive right into the first hypnotist you come across who seems to offer what you want. If you choose to do that, you’re looking at 3 possible outcomes:
- You get super lucky and the hypnotist you choose has a style which works for you, is ethical and is able to successfully trance you and give you an excellent and positive experience. Yes, this is the ideal, but without adequate prior research it’s also very unlikely.
- You find a hypnotist who is able to hypnotise you, but has questionable ethics. This may be exciting in the first instance but could cause you problems down the line – either being persuaded to doing things that you’re not comfortable with.
- The hypnotist you choose isn’t actually any good/lacks experience/their style of hypnosis doesn’t work with you and you aren’t successfully able to enjoy trance.
So looking at the options above, in theory yes it is possible that you get lucky right off the bat, but honestly – the odds of that are slim at best. Research is your friend. I cannot emphasize this enough. The more time and energy you invest into research, the better your results will be. Research isn’t time wasted – I deliberately used the phrase “invest” because you are investing in your experience to ensure that it is as positive as it can be. By understanding what you want and how to achieve it, you’re significantly raising your odds of enjoying a deeply powerful and pleasurable experience – which is what hypnosis/trance should be!
I want to help you achieve the best possible experience with trance so I’ve listed a few suggestions/pointers to help you with your research:
Step 1: Start off by thinking carefully about what you want to achieve and what’s important to you. At this stage you don’t need a lot of detail/specifics, but having a rough idea of what you want will help you narrow down which hypnotists will be suitable and will make it easier to navigate options. What you want to achieve may well evolve over time, but right now – in this moment – what are your goals and priorities? Do you want genuine trance or roleplay? What fetishes/interests do you have that you want to incorporate? Think through what an ideal first session would look like to you. How would it play out? I’m not suggesting that the reality will be a perfect match for your ideal, but if you have an idea of what you want, you will be able to articulate your desires to your hypnotist which means they can tailor the session more specifically to you and what you want.
Step 2: Explore. Google is your friend in this instance. There are many, many hypnoDommes and Erotic Hypnotists out there, all with their own specialties and areas of expertise. Many genuine professionals will have free recordings which you can listen to so that you can gauge whether or not their style/approach works for you. At this stage you may or may not trance listening to the free recordings, and that’s okay – what’s more important is whether you like their voice and their style. For trance to be truly effective and fulfilling, you want to find a hypnotist who you enjoy – who you can enjoy listening to regularly, over the long-term. If you’re curious about a recording but have concerns over the integrity of the hypnotist/content (are worried that you may be involuntarily coerced in some way, for example), I have a free recording entitled “Art of control” that you will find useful. It will allow you to retain control when appropriate so that you can avoid feeling vulnerable when listening to recordings.
Use different search terms in google to yield different results – hypnoDomme and erotic hypnosis are two common search terms, but experiment and see what works for you. Also look beyond the first page of results. There are many excellent hypnotists who are sadly lacking in SEO skills and it would be a shame for them to be overlooked simply because they fail to make the first page!
Also reach out to the community for recommendations. There’s an active hypnoDomme scene on Twitter as well as sites like Inraptured and Hypwatch.
Step 3: Once you’ve listened to a number of different hypnotists, draw up a shortlist of hypnotists that you like. Listening and exploring may have given you new ideas for what you want to experience and that’s great – make a note of them! It also may have helped you firm-up what qualities you’re looking for in a hypnotist so be sure to record those, too. Once you have the shortlist (I’d say maybe around 5 hypnotists – you may want more, you may want less. Decide what’s manageable), think about what questions you’d like to ask them. Trust is really, really important in hypnosis and so taking time to learn about the person who could potentially be trancing you will go a long way to helping you trust them. Do you want to know about their background? How they got into hypnosis? Their experience to date? What they specialise in? What do they enjoy? Why do they do hypnosis? Please don’t throw 1001 questions at a hypnotist – we are professionals and as such we are often very busy and our time is limited – but any good hypnotist should be happy to answer one or two well thought out questions that help you establish whether or not they are the right hypnotist for you.
If you have any concerns that you may (or have previously) struggled to trance, don’t be afraid to ask if/how a hypnotist deals with such situations. A good hypnotist will be honest (some do not have the experience/expertise to work with people who don’t respond well to standard inductions. It doesn’t mean that you are a “bad” subject in any way – everyone learns differently. It simply speaks to the hypnotists lack of experience, which is also not a bad thing. Hypnosis is a skill which takes time to learn and develop) and should explain what type of clients they work with and give an overview of the techniques they use.
It’s also worth reading testimonials as this should give you an indication of what you can expect. If you haven’t already, this represents another good opportunity to reach out to the community and ask others for advice/suggestions/feedback from their own experiences. You want to get a feel for each hypnotists style, attitude and approach. If you like their voice but struggle to trance to their mp3’s then speak to them about a live one-to-one session over the phone or Skype. Live sessions can be a great way to lay solid foundations for you to build your trance experience on. Because they can be tailored specifically to you and your needs, as well as helping you become more confident at trancing, which in turn will make it easier to enjoy trancing to mp3 recordings.
Once you’ve settled on a hypnotist whose style you like and who works for you, stick with them – at least initially. Building a rapport with and allowing yourself to become accustomed to a single hypnotist and their style will help make it easier for you to trance. The more of their work you listen to, the easier trancing will become. You will learn to feel comfortable with them, trance easier to their voice and this will help establish a richer and more fulfilling trance experience.
Final Notes: I know taking time to research in advance can seem boring and unnecessary – that it’s somehow holding you back from jumping into trance. The reality, however is that spending a little time researching will pay absolute dividends in the long run and will help you establish a strong foundation on which to build your hypnotic/trance experiences.
If you have any questions, you can always get in contact by emailing me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com
Also, if you have any questions, comments, advice or suggestions you would like to share please feel free to leave a comment here.
by queenofdreams | May 5, 2018 | Hypnosis
It’s been an interesting journey for me, hypnosis. For years it was a hobby until after 2 years of persuasion, a good friend friend encouraged me to go pro. I’ve been doing hypnosis full time for around a year now and it’s been such an incredible experience. The freedom it’s given me – both in terms of creative expression and simply time (I set my own schedule) has been absolutely invaluable.
Whilst my primary focus has always been on the live Skype hypnosis sessions which I absolutely love (and which testimonials suggest are also loved by those who enjoy such sessions with me), I’ve also been building a catalogue of recordings. I wanted to share my top 5 mp3’s right now. My favorites change often depending on my moods, but these 5 recordings (offered in no particular order of preference) are the ones that currently make my little heart happy:
Anticipation
This recording will always hold a special place in my heart as it was the first mp3 I ever made. It’s deliciously dark…a seductive story that leads you on a journey of obedience and surrender…enthralls you with the power of submission. It’s a story that draws you in…nourishes and plays your desire to submit. I take you out for the evening…control you…and build the anticipation.
Down The Rabbit Hole
This is a confusion induction recording. Confusion inductions can be tricky to execute correctly – especially in recordings as you have no way of accurately gauging how the individual who is listening is responding. Still – I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and I have to say I am really, really pleased with how this recording has turned out. It’s very effective but it’s also not too “hard” as some confusion inductions can be. It’s not intended to overwhelm and confuse in an uncomfortable way. It’s fun and ephemeral and whimsical…inviting you on a surreal journey loosely based on that of Alice in Wonderland. A really fun and unusual recording that I am very proud of.
Surrender & Obey
This was one of my first forays into the more direct dominant style which is typical of hypnoDommes. Generally my style is quieter…more seductive. But this time I wanted to explore my dominant side and let it out to play for a little while. “Surrender & Obey” was the result, and boy have you boys responded to it. It’s a consistently popular file and encouraged me to explore my darker, more directly dominant side more which led to…
FuckToy
This started out as an experiment. I wanted to push the limits of dominance and pleasure whilst still maintaining my boundaries. A direct, intense and dominant file, I’ve made sure there is absolutely no humiliation. That was very important to me. This recording took a long, long time to come together as I was pushing my own boundaries…discovering what was possible and how I could incorporate intense domination into my typically softer style and approach. But this recording, once finished, worked. And boy does it work! It’s probably one of my most popular recordings to date and I love that I get to completely unleash my inner Domme and remind you who is in control…moulding you to become my obedient fucktoy. It’s deep and intense and powerful.
Mindgasm
If you know me then you know I love pleasure. I love encouraging people to enjoy and embrace pleasure. To discover new pleasure. To push the limits of pleasure…and that’s exactly what this recording does. Perfectly. You know what an orgasm is – well a mindgasm is the mental equivalent. Flooding your mind with waves of intense, orgasmic pleasure. I love this recording because it’s so pleasure focused and because it is so, so effective.
You can explore these recordings and more by checking out my MP3 and Video shop as well as listening to samples.
If you’ve enjoyed any of the above recordings I would love to hear your thoughts so please share your comments here.
by queenofdreams | Apr 21, 2018 | Hypnosis
The possibilities when it comes to ways to hypnotise a person are nearly limitless. I know because I have a lot of fun creating new ways to trance people, as well as tailoring existing methods to better suit individuals I am working with. So in this blog I am going to talk specifically about how I hypnotise people. My way isn’t the only way, though. Different people will have different techniques and strategies. I just thought it would be interesting to give you a little insight into how I hypnotise people, especially as I work a lot with analytical people and those who have previously struggled to trance.
If you want to understand hypnosis, however, you need to begin by understanding what it is and how it works. That includes understanding what hypnosis isn’t. There are so many misconceptions associated with hypnosis that it can be difficult to distinguish the reality from the many and varied assumptions floating around.
The most important thing to remember is that the ability to trance is natural and innate. Every time you’ve daydreamed, gotten lost in thought or driven on auto-pilot you’ve enjoyed a light trance state. The role of a hypnotist is to show you how to capitalise on this innate talent you already possess so it can be utilised to your advantage.
Some hypnotists try and pass off hypnosis as magical or mystical – or as a special power only they possess (which is nonsense). The worst will simply sit there and read from a pre-prepared script. In my (humble) opinion, such people are to be avoided. A good hypnotist won’t need a script for a live session. Their techniques should be tailored specifically to you and should be adapted based on what works for you.
The key to successfully trancing someone is to recognise, utilise and build upon their existing natural talents rather than just force your own style/script upon them. I like to use a conversational induction as a base initially as a lot of people who have sessions with me are initially nervous/excited and this gives them an opportunity to chat with me, get to know me, calm their nerves and settle into the experience. It also helps me get to know them and to understand what techniques I can employ from my vast “hypnotic toolbox” to help them enjoy trance. I can also chat to them and dispel many of the common misconceptions surrounding hypnosis – you won’t be asleep or unconscious (if anything you’ll be more self-aware and in control of yourself than usual), for example – and also give them the opportunity to ask me any questions they may have. You don’t have to be relaxed to enjoy trance, but it does help if you’re comfortable.
As I like to tell my clients, trance is actually the easiest thing in the world as you don’t have to actually “do” anything to make it happen. Your subconscious already knows what to do and all you need to do is get out of your own way and allow it to happen. As a hypnotist I see my role as a guide or a teacher, showing you how to capitalise on your natural abilities. I often use the analogy of learning a new skill…say you wanted to teach yourself to play the piano. Sure, you can teach yourself the basics but if you want to see real improvements you bring in someone to teach you. You’re still the one playing, but with appropriate guidance how you play improves.
I am there to guide and reassure. You can trance with your eyes open or your eyes closed. This is your experience. It’s unique to you. There’s no right or wrong way to “do” trance. It’s also not a binary state. So many people are focused on the idea of being in trance and achieving that state that they often miss out on the pleasure of actually going into trance and how good that feels. As I am an avid fan of pleasure in all its forms I regularly encourage people to allow themselves to be aware of and embrace the pleasurable sensations of actually going into trance. Being open to that experience helps guide you easily into deeper trance states so it’s a win-win.
Every person has their own trance journey that is unique to them. They also have unique “tells” or markers that occur at different stages. Most competent hypnotists will be aware of these and utilise them to help guide their client into trance/deeper trance. I take this one step further by actively pointing out what I notice to the person I’m working with (something most hypnotists don’t do, I presume as they like to maintain the mystical/magical aspect of trance and/or feel that withholding this information gives them more control? Who knows?). I refer to this as signposting the trance experience. The markers differ for each person – they’re like a unique fingerprint. Some people’s breathing deepens and slows…some people blink more and/or their eyes close, etc, etc. Sometimes people are aware that this is happening, sometimes not, but by bringing it to their attention they will be able to recognise their own unique markers which can act as “touch points”, reassuring them of the stage they’re at what what to expect when they trance again in the future.
Some signals are obvious, some are incredibly subtle but years of experience have taught me how to identify and work with my client’s natural abilities. I’ve developed a confidence borne of experience which definitely helps – as does the fact that I am comfortable switching things up and adapting to my clients needs. All I require is honesty. If a particular technique isn’t working I have many, many others I can use to achieve the desired effects.
So – how do I hypnotise someone? I identify and utilise their natural abilities and show them how to capitalise on their innate talents. I do this by talking them through what they can expect whilst not prescribing the experience. I don’t simply read from a script or expect them to automatically respond to specific inductions. It’s about being open and flexible….having the experience to be able to not only identify what techniques will be most useful in helping a person achieve trance, but also the skill set to be able to put those techniques into practice.
The result? Hundreds of happy and satisfied clients, including some who had been trying to trance for many, many years (my record is 20+ years). I don’t believe there is such a thing as someone who is “bad” at trancing, but I do believe in hypnotists who fail to appreciate the limitations of their skills and experience and prefer to place the blame (wrongly) on their subject. Never let a hypnotist try and tell you that you are a bad subject or difficult to trance. That statement says everything about them and nothing about you or your capabilities.
A good hypnotist will be able to work with you and tailor a session specifically to your needs. You should be able to trust the hypnotist, their motivation and their expertise and will be rewarded with a truly incredible experience.
If you’d like to know more about the experiences of some of my clients, then check out my testimonials page.
