by queenofdreams | Feb 21, 2018 | Hypnosis
There are many, many reasons why you may be struggling to enjoy trance. Fear, lack of confidence, over-confidence…there are a lot of possibilities and I am going to delve into a few of these below. This article is not intended to be exhaustive so, if after reading you find that you still have some questions please get in touch.
One thing I have learned over years is that to a lot of people, hypnosis is akin to magic. Many people are skeptical – they don’t believe it works, or aren’t sure how it could/does work. They don’t understand it, even if they can see it happening to someone else right in front of their eyes. That lack of understanding can often breed fear or insecurity, which is a common reason for not being able to enjoy trance, but there are other reasons, too.
I’ve also come across people who have informed themselves about hypnosis – they’ve read up on it, understand the theories behind it and, armed with this knowledge dive in expecting trance to be easy, only to find themselves frustrated when they struggle. Sound familiar?
The problem is that whilst ignorance breeds fear, knowledge can breed expectation, and expectation can hinder your ability to enjoy trance. Why? Because hypnotic trance is subjective. It is a profound and deeply personal experience. Yes there are some external physiological signs which hypnotists can use to pick up on the fact that someone is either going in to trance or already in trance, but the subjective experience of enjoying trance varies from person to person. You may get some consistent generalisations – that it feels “nice”, or “pleasurable”, but the subjective nature of trance is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to quantify.
With this in mind, if you sit down to enjoy trance and have expectations based around knowledge you’ve acquired from research then you may be unintentionally subjecting yourself to beliefs and expectations which could theoretically hinder your experience. To give one example it is a commonly held belief that you need to have your eyes closed to go into trance, but in reality this is simply not true. Yes, it may help some people to enjoy entering trance more easily, but it is certainly not a necessity.
So – what’s the solution? Well, if the main element that is holding you back is fear, then by all means do all the research you can to reassure yourself that hypnosis is perfectly safe (it is, I promise!) and the basic mechanics of how it works (e.g. you won’t be asleep, you’ll be aware of what’s going on around you and you’ll be more relaxed and focused than usual). If your difficulty is expectations borne out of research then my advice is simple – let go. Unburden yourself from expectations about what you think you should be experiencing and instead allow yourself to be curious about what you are experiencing.
Enjoying trance can be the easiest thing in the world if you allow it to be. Yes, it can take practice, but the practice is not about the trance itself. It is about training yourself to become aware of all the little signals that are signposting your descent into trance. These may include your breathing naturally slowing, your mind becoming quiet….these are all possibilities, but the reality is you have to be open to discovering what your unique signposts are and embracing them. Once you accomplish this, then you will find it much easier to enjoy a deep and fulfilling trance.
Remember – if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to get in touch. Either email me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com or drop me a message on Twitter @British_Hypno.
by queenofdreams | Feb 2, 2018 | Hypnosis
I firmly believe that a lot of people who have submissive tendencies (especially people not already accustomed to the BDSM/fetish scene) shy away from labeling themselves as submissive, or even indulging their submissive side because they disagree with the commonly held view that to be submissive is to be less than, to be open to being humiliated/degraded or even to mean that if you’re submissive you’re meant to be submissive to anyone who asserts themselves as dominant.
If you’ve only recently discovered/accepted/embraced your submissive tendencies and you are otherwise vanilla and unfamiliar with the BDSM/kink scene then many of the “assumptions” made about what it means to be submissive can range from simply confusing to downright off-putting if you’re still unsure about what it means and how you feel.
I’ve seen comments that subs are “worthless” or “beneath” dominants, and there is regular insinuation or open talk of humiliation and degradation which personally I find very unpalatable. I do appreciate that being submissive encompasses a broad range of possibilities in terms of how the individual’s submission is expressed but my concern is that the more extreme elements appear to dominate and I worry that this may be alienating/pushing away many submissives who don’t identify with these.
Being submissive doesn’t necessarily make you submissive in general. Many of my boys choose and/or feel submissive only to me. Feeling unexpectedly submissive toward someone when you don’t identify as submissive (and/or typically identify as an alpha personality) can be confusing. Especially when you research and see so many references to humiliation and degradation. What if you feel submissive but don’t want to be humiliated? Does that mean you’re not submissive? Then why do you feel submissive?
Whilst some Dom/mes can use humiliation as a tool as part of submission (consensually, one would hope), I don’t see it as an inherent part of submission. At its essence, submission is just that – a desire to submit. Yes there are a lot of add-ons which are dependent upon the individuals personal kinks, but submission doesn’t have to be complex. It often is for a variety of reasons, but it doesn’t have to be.
For my part, I refuse to humiliate those who choose to be submissive to me. I do not see them as beneath me or “less than” in any way, shape or form. My own personal take is that submission is a gift which should be offered to someone who you trust and respect, and who in turn respects you. The recipient of the gift of submission/surrender should appreciate its value and treasure it appropriately. Genuinely offered submission is precious and should be treated as such.
A Dominant has a responsibility to their subs. Trust and communication on both sides are vital ingredients to a healthy dynamic. Again, I appreciate that some Dom/mes like to dictate their subs lives, make all their decisions for them, etc, but I question how healthy this dynamic is. Just because I am in control doesn’t (and shouldn’t) mean that I have to constantly exert that control. Surely if the control needs to be constantly enforced then the foundations weren’t very strong to begin with? Surely far better to encourage a submissive to show their respect to their Dominant by being the best possible version of themselves that they can be. By using their initiative to better themselves and finding ways to please their Dominant. This doesn’t exclude the Dominant party from taking complete control on occasion, but operating in this way those occasions become mutually pleasurable ways to reinforce the dynamic at appropriate intervals rather than constantly working to prop it up. I know I would find a sub who is confident in their submission and comfortable taking initiative far more valuable than one who constantly seeks attention and direction. The D/s dynamic should be pleasurable, enriching and valuable to both parties – not emotionally painful (I do appreciate some seek out physical pain for various reasons) and/or exploitative.
I think it’s also important to have a “safe space” for those new to/exploring submission. One where they can feel comfortable coming to terms with what submission means to them. Yes, eventually their submissive needs may evolve to encompass more elements/may become more “hardcore”, but more should be done to engage those new to submission with more reassurance and awareness of options available. Submission isn’t a “one size fits all” deal. It’s okay to dip your toe in the water and explore without engaging in humiliation. Humiliation isn’t a core aspect of submission and if I could shout that from the rooftops, then believe me I would!
Submission is a personal journey. Take your time and recognise your submission for the gift it is. Save it for someone special who deserves it, respects your gift and will take care of you.
by queenofdreams | Jan 25, 2018 | Hypnosis
Is it possible to utilise hypnosis to enjoy hands free orgasms?
The short answer is yes, definitely (check out the videos here for evidence)
Ending there, however, wouldn’t make for a particularly interesting or informative so as I get asked about hands-free orgasms and hypnosis quite a bit I’m going to use this post to talk in a little more detail about hands free orgasms, how they work, and how I incorporate them into my sessions.
Most people tend to associate orgasms with ejaculation (particularly when it comes to men). It’s understandable as both experiences happen simultaneously, but although they are connected they’re not a single action. It is perfectly possible to enjoy a physical, pleasurable orgasm without ejaculating. As I like to say – all of the fun and none of the mess. In addition, it’s possible to enjoy an orgasm without physical stimulation (e.g. masturbating). Mind blown – am I right? Haha.
So – how does it happen? Well, I can only speak to how I incorporate this into my hypnosis sessions (others may do things differently) but the good news for you is it’s pretty straightforward. I essentially incorporate the orgasm (sans ejaculation) as a response to a given command/trigger/post-hypnotic trigger. So, when I have you in trance I essentially make a deal with your subconscious that when I say the “trigger” word/command (in this case “orgasm”), your body instantly, without consciously thinking about it, responds to my command with a physical (and very pleasurable) orgasm.
The benefit of doing things this way is that you can orgasm in trance, but the trigger/command can also be used as a post-hypnotic suggestion which means that it works out of trance as well. I often have a lot of fun randomly triggering my regular boys at unexpected moments during sessions just for fun. Of course, safety is also important so whenever I give a trigger like this it comes with the understanding that the triggers only work when I give them. This means you won’t be unexpectedly triggered at an inopportune moment.
Your mind essentially constructs your reality. By accessing your subconscious mind through hypnosis I am able to tap into the immense power that your mind holds, but which your conscious mind only has limited access to. You may feel an orgasm in your cock, but it all starts in your mind.
As with any trigger, some people are able to enjoy this in their first session, for others it can take longer. It’s different for everyone. I’ve had some clients who have taken a couple of sessions to come to terms with the revelation of hands-free orgasms and fully embrace its potential, but have been able to enjoy other triggers instantly. Conversely I’ve had a boy who mastered the orgasm trigger in the first session, but took a while to feel comfortable with amnesia.
Everyone is different. I can’t emphasize this enough. If a trigger doesn’t “take” as well as you hoped in the first instance it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” in any way. It simply means your subconscious needs more time to adjust to/embrace the possibilities and that is absolutely fine. I have a lot of tools in my “hypnotic toolbox” and if one strategy doesn’t have the desired effect then I have plenty of other options to achieve the desired result.
The important thing is to have fun – to enjoy the experience and not sweat the small stuff. Just because something doesn’t happen right now don’t mean it won’t happen. The fear of failure holds a lot of people back and acts as a barrier to achieving what you want but if you work with a hypnotist who you trust and embrace a little patience when required (not always easy, but the rewards are more than worth it!) then you can enjoy pleasurable experiences – like hands-free orgasms – beyond your wildest imagination.
For instance I’ve also trained some of my boys to cum on command (sometimes without even needing to implant a specific trigger…isn’t it amazing what can be achieved when you truly submit to the power and control of a wonderful hypnotist?). Not only do they cum on command, but they can cum multiple times (in quick succession) if I command it. As I have already said – amazing things are possible, and the hardest part is taking that first step and engaging with the hypnotist, booking a session. I always recommend live sessions (at least initially) for hands-free orgasms as it means I can tailor the experience specifically to you. If you’ve tried MP3 triggers in the past without success it doesn’t mean you’re not capable – it simply means that your odds of success will skyrocket with a live session where the hypnotist can work with you in real time.
I’m also able to say to my boys (completely truthfully) that it gets better every time. Because it does. The more you engage with a specific hypnotist. The more you engage with that relationship, the more trust you build and the more possibilities for pleasure you unlock. It really is that simple.
If you’re interested in booking a Skype session with me, then check out my Skype page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/Skype/
If you’re curious about others experiences of Skype sessions with me then take a look at my Testimonials page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/testimonials/
by queenofdreams | Jan 15, 2018 | Hypnosis, Personal
2018 is finally here…a new year with new opportunities and no doubt obstacles to overcome. I must admit I’ve been pretty introspective the last few weeks, thinking about what I’ve achieved already and what I want to achieve moving forward. It’s coming up for 2 years since I officially started doing hypnosis professionally (although the first year was part time) and I’ll be honest – it’s been one hell of a journey.
I told myself from the outset that if I was going to pursue hypnosis I was going to do it my way, on my own terms. I’ve been very lucky in that I have been able to hold true to my ideals – to pursue something I love without having to excessively compromise. To be able to be myself and not worry about putting on a fictional persona, constantly having to think about if I am “in character”. I get to do what I want, how I want it. But that has come with sacrifices and I’d be stupid not to acknowledge that.
If I had marketed myself as a “traditional” hypnoDomme I have no doubt that I would have gained more traction. A lot of clients do have expectations of fulfilling a fantasy – to them, the integrity of the personality delivering the fantasy may not be important, or perhaps as I’ve commonly found they’re expecting a traditional FemDomme experience which also incorporates hypnosis. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. I cannot emphasize that enough. But because I do not neatly fit into a category of what is already a niche area it’s made things that little bit more tricky. Yes, I do incorporate some Domme elements into hypnosis sessions with some clients but I don’t primarily identify as a Domme. I’m happy to experiment and push boundaries (my new recording “FuckToy” is one example of that) but my main focus has always been erotic hypnosis – using hypnosis for pleasure. Those of you who know me know that I am a big fan of pleasure and hypnosis is a fantastic tool for exploring its possibilities.
I also love Skype sessions. I’m developing a reputation for being somewhat of an over enthusiastic geek when it comes to hypnosis, but I can live with that. I’m passionate about what I do and I’m not ashamed of that. It brings me such joy to watch people who’ve held an interest in hypnosis for so long and yet struggled to trance enjoy their first experience…to watch them unlock their potential and slip so deeply and easily into trance…to see their happiness and excitement when they realise what’s happened and then respond instantly and powerfully to post-hypnotic triggers. Also watching clients evolve…not everyone learns in the same way or at the same pace and I for one enjoy the journey…seeing the evolution of their experience and capabilities.
I am so grateful to those of you who sought me out and support me. Without your generosity I wouldn’t be able to spend time indulging in hypnosis – something I love doing so much. Every recording and/or Skype session you buy, every testimonial you leave, every recommendation you make to others…it all helps more than you will ever know. I do what I can to give back to the hypno community with free recordings and advice to those who are new to the scene but the more financial support I have from you guys, the more time I have to invest in hypnosis – plus you get a wonderful session and/or recording to enjoy so it’s a win-win.
Gifts are another unexpected perk of what I do. Starting out, for the longest time I had people asking me when I was going to publish a wish list. For a long time I resisted as I wanted to take time to get my head round the ethical implications (ethics are of immense importance to me). Eventually I relented and published a wish list and have been overwhelmed by the generosity you guys (and girls) have shown. Gifts are never expected but it makes my little heart happy to see that all the effort and passion I put into what I do is recognised and appreciated.
It’s been one hell of a journey so far…I’ve learned a lot and continue to learn more every day. I am blessed with the friendships I enjoy with many of my regular clients and relish the challenges and opportunities new clients bring. When someone says to me nervously that they’re not expecting much as they’ve struggled before they often look confused when my eyes light up and I get excited. It’s because I know that the odds are that I can help them. Obviously nothing in life (bar death and taxes) is guaranteed but although I’ve lost track of the number of people I’ve hypnotised over the years, I’d say my success rate is probably still in the 97-99% range which means I can afford to be pretty confident.
I’m hoping that my business will continue to grow and flourish. It hasn’t been without its setbacks so far (poor financial advice from accountant means my annual tax bill is double what I’d budgeted for. ouch!) but I remain positive. I’d love the opportunity to be able to travel more this year…to visit friends and to explore. WIth your support I can do that. And in return you get to enjoy a powerful, pleasurable hypnotic experience. Win-win I say!
by queenofdreams | Dec 1, 2017 | Hypnosis
I’ve developed somewhat of a reputation as being a “go to” hypnotist for people who’ve previously struggled to trance. Some of the wonderful clients who I have had the pleasure of working with have been trying for many, many years (I think the record so far is 20) to enjoy trance and had all but given up before they came to me.
Either people have been told by an (inept) hypnotist that they’re difficult or “impossible” to trance (utter nonsense) or they themselves have come to the conclusion that they’re no good at it because they’ve struggled to enjoy trance. It can be a frustrating and depressing experience being led to believe that you are incapable of achieving something you really want to enjoy and I have the greatest admiration for those who don’t give up and continue to pursue what they want because in my opinion there is no such thing as people who are “hard” to hypnotise.
Trance is an inherent ability we all possess, but we all learn in different ways (which is perfectly natural) so commonly used hypnosis induction techniques (to help someone achieve trance) may or may not be effective depending on the subjects personal learning style.
A good hypnotist will be able to quickly establish at least a basic understanding of how an individual best learns by talking to them, asking relevant questions and fine-tuning their approach to improve their insight.
Personally, I prefer to use a relaxed, conversational induction as a base that I then tailor specifically to the individual I am working with. Allowing the interaction to be more friendly and relaxed puts less stress on the subject, which is especially important if you’re dealing with someone who has already had multiple attempts at trancing end in failure.
By allowing someone to relax and clearly explaining how the process works and what they can expect you can help them to map-out the experience, giving more confidence and reassurance. If I am working with someone who I know has struggled to trance in the past then I know the “traditional” inductions are unlikely to be successful and this gives me license to unleash my creativity. It’s also important to reiterate that trance is a fun, relaxed experience. Your subconscious knows what to do, so my job as a hypnotist is to show you how to tap into your own innate talent and capitalise on it for your benefit.
You can’t use the same approach that other previous hypnotists have and just hope for a different outcome. I “read” the person – both in terms of what they say and how they say it, and also monitoring non-verbal communication which can be as subtle as a change in pupil dilation, flushed cheeks, breathing or any manner of other things. My role as a hypnotist is to lead, guide and teach.
If someone is being tranced and are struggling to achieve their goal then you can be damn sure that the issue lies with the hypnotist and not the person being tranced. The hypnotist needs to be able to tailor their approach to the individual they’re working with but so many hypnotists get stuck in a rut – parroting scripts they’ve learned verbatim or even worse reading directly from scripts. A hypnotist needs to be able to get creative – to improvise. To be able to understand the mechanisms that drive the trance experience and tailor them specifically to the individual they’re working with in a way in which that person can understand, and in doing so successfully engage with the experience. The hypnotist has to be confident in what they are doing and if a particular approach doesn’t yield the expected results don’t frame this as a failure (or even worse blame the subject) because it’s not. It’s a learning experience. It helps you narrow down and pin-point what will work. And it will work.
Analytical people are a brilliant example of this. If you’ve read some of my other blog posts you’ll know that I absolutely love working with analytical people. I totally geek out over it (I am an unashamed hypno-geek) and get very happy and excited. Why? Because in my experience analytical people make the absolute best subjects (read my other blog posts to find out why I feel this way) but many hypnotists are reluctant to work with analytical subjects and brand them as “bad” or “difficult to hypnotise” when in reality nothing is further from the truth.
It’s true that analytical people don’t always respond well to many popular inductions. Progressive relaxation inductions can be boring and drawn out if you’re of an analytically minded persuasion and many hypnotists tend to focus on telling their subject to “relax”, which, if you’re analytical will send your brain firing off in different directions going “how relaxed is relaxed? Am I relaxed enough? How do I relax more?” etc which completely derails the whole experience. Another common direction is to tell the subject to focus on the hypnotists voice and not to think of anything else. Again, if you’re analytical this is like saying “don’t think of a pink elephant”. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Of course none of this makes analytical people bad subjects. There are methods which can be effectively employed which utilise their inherent gifts and in my experience this results in analytical people being able to trance faster and deeper than most. What is important, however, is recognising the strengths of the individual you’re dealing with and tailoring your approach to them. If I ever hear a hypnotist try and tell me that someone is “hard to hypnotise” my immediate desire is to respond by pointing out that the subject isn’t the problem – it’s the limitations of the hypnotists ability which are showing through and falsely shifting the problem/limitation to the subject is disingenuous and unhelpful.
So in summation there’s no such thing as someone who’s “hard to hypnotise”, and if a hypnotist ever tries to tell you or insinuate that you are, run a mile! A good hypnotist will be able to tailor their approach to optimise your chances of success. Take time, research, shortlist and never be afraid to ask questions. You want to find a hypnotist whose style you like and who you feel comfortable with. Trance is possible and magical things can happen once you’re able to achieve it. This is why I am able to say that I can make fantasies come true on my homepage. Because I can and I do 🙂
If you have any questions or would like more information please feel free to email me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com or leave a comment below.
by queenofdreams | Nov 3, 2017 | Hypnosis
If you’re setting out on a new journey and you aren’t exactly sure where you’re going, but you like to think that it’s a journey you’ll be making with relative frequency from now on as the destination sounds pretty exciting, then would you rather make this journey alone or have someone to guide you? Someone to help point out landmarks along the way that you can then use to guide yourself the next time you come this way, even if you’re on your own.
I like to think of trance as a journey. So many people focus on the destination (being in trance), but there is a lot of pleasure to be found in the journey into trance as well. I’ve developed a technique which I use to help you appreciate the pleasure that can be found in the descent into trance (as well as in trance itself). This technique also helps you “signpost” your experience so that the next time you enjoy trancing you’ll find it easier to slip back into trance.
So – how does it work? In essence, everyone’s journey into trance and their experience of trancing is unique to them. There may be similarities, but your journey is your own and special to you. There will be certain physical signs that will become apparent as you begin to go into trance and as you go deeper into trance. Many times you won’t be consciously aware of these changes, however training yourself to recognise them can allow you to appreciate what stage of trance you’re at and be confident about the direction in which your experience is heading.
Doing this without any support can be tricky, so I aim to support you during live Skype sessions by picking up on the subtle changes I see as you go into trance and reporting these back to you, bringing them to your conscious awareness. I appreciate that at first glance this sounds a little odd – after all, won’t it simply be an interruption and draw you back out of trance? Interestingly, the opposite is actually true. Talking/responding won’t stop/interrupt the trancing process, but being guided to be aware of the physical signs of your descent into trance can help you self-verify your experience and provide empirical proof that your trance experience is evolving. These signs vary from person to person but common iterations include breathing slowing and deepening, blinking, increased focus, etc.
This isn’t a technique that I am aware of other hypnotists using, and I do appreciate that on the surface it seems counter-intuitive but I can assure you I have had a great deal of success utilising this technique. It’s a great way for you to learn about your own trance experience and to be able to fully embrace and appreciate the pleasure that comes from going into trance, as well as being in trance itself. Once you have a better understanding of your own personal trance journey, then the next time you trance (live or to mp3 recordings) you will be better placed to feel more secure in your ability to trance and to enjoy the experience of being able to trance more effectively and deeply.
This technique, when applied properly and appropriately works with a wide range of people including analytical people and/or those who have previously struggled to trance.
If you’re curious about experiencing this for yourself, drop me a message at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com and ask me any questions you may have. It’s also worth checking out my Skype page at www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/skype/
