Yes, Hypnosis is Real

I think I sort of take it for granted sometimes that hypnosis is real, genuine and effective.  Because I work with it every day and see the effects first hand to me it’s simply a given. I love what I do, but I’m also aware that complacency can be an easy trap to fall into so I was pleasantly surprised when I received the following review from one of my boys after a session. Before he came to me he had been trying to trance for 20+ years.

 

“Last night was special.  I think that, after so many years of trying to trance, I had formed (without recognizing it) the belief that hypnosis is somehow unreal.  Not that it is fake — but rather that it was some mixture of just quietly though consciously accepting most of what a hypnotist says. Maybe, according to this belief, it is more like listening to a really good story, and getting caught up in the reading, but not necessarily finding oneself swept away, or responding so powerfully (and without conscious inter-mediation) to suggestions, triggers, and commands.  If the story is sexy, you might cum. If it calls for a little audience participation, you might play along. But it wouldn’t be the case that you could just be dropped into a deep and infinitely submissive trance by a word or three. Your kind willingness to answer all my questions about what is and isn’t possible is helping me, I think, to re-learn what hypnosis is. Experience here is leading belief: there are the ever present feelings of submission, and my absolute and immediate responsiveness to your commands; belief is starting, finally, to catch up with reality”.

 

It was interesting to me that his pattern of experiences had given him the opposite perspective to mine.  He saw hypnosis as a fantasy – something that could be engaged with in a roleplay capacity but nothing more.  It made me think about how our experiences shape our perspectives and expectations. This boy wasn’t simply sceptical about hypnosis – he literally believed it didn’t exist. That it was a fantasy. So imagine his shock when he discovered that it is, after all, real.

 

I think some people think me saying that I transform fantasies into reality is a marketing ploy, but I genuinely mean what I say and those who have enjoyed live sessions with me will be able to attest to the truth of my words. Trance is real. Hypnosis is real. It works. Not every hypnotist will be able to hypnotise you effectively but that doesn’t discredit the phenomenon itself. I specialise in working with “difficult” and/or analytical subjects (basically those who have previously struggled to trance and/or been erroneously told by other hypnotists that they are somehow “bad” subjects) and yet I have a near perfect success rate (which I am very proud of, I hasten to add).

 

You’re skeptical? So what?  It doesn’t mean I can’t hypnotise you. Hypnosis isn’t some kind of magic (though it certainly can feel magical at times). You don’t need to believe in it for it to work.  You don’t even need to be relaxed. Mind going a million miles a minute? Not a problem.  The fact remains: hypnosis is real. Hypnosis works.  Don’t believe me? Go and check out my testimonials page. Plenty of people have taken time to confirm that not only does hypnosis work – I excel at what I do and they reap the benefits of that.

 

Am I being arrogant?  Perhaps. I personally see it as confidence underpinned by many years of experience. I know what I am doing. I am capable of delivering results and you are able to benefit from my experience.  Tried before with other hypnotists and not been successful? It doesn’t mean hypnosis doesn’t work/trance doesn’t exist. It simply means you haven’t found a hypnotist whose style works for you, yet.  Research, explore – invest time and you’ll enjoy the rewards of your efforts. The potential of hypnosis is limited only by your imagination.

 

If you’re curious about hypnosis and have questions you can always email me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com

 

I’m friendly and more than happy to answer any queries you have.  I love hypnosis and am very passionate about what I do. You deserve to enjoy the pleasure of trance and I would love to be the one to guide you on that journey of discovery.

 

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

I’ve touched on the concept of humiliation before in my blog and why I don’t use/encourage it but someone contacted me today and raised a really interesting point about humiliation and a perspective I’d never considered so I want to share it (and my thoughts) with you.  It does get a little personal and may be triggering as there is talk of emotional abuse so please be aware of that before you continue reading.

The main idea was that yes, humiliation in BDSM focuses on the “traditional” forms of humiliation – put downs/asking the sub to complete humiliating tasks, etc, but that there is another more insidious form: the humiliation of being “found out” by people who aren’t aware of your kink and who don’t approve.

The idea that kinksters are aware of at least the possibility of humiliation – that its risk is a natural consequence of engaging in activities in which society “as a whole” does not particularly understand or approve.  The potential shame of being mocked or humiliated or ostracized for your indulgences.

I’d never really considered this aspect so it took me by surprise. I had to think to myself – honestly – would I be ashamed if people found out?  I sort of half expected the answer to be yes due to years of social conditioning, but in all honestly whilst I think I would potentially have to deal with some negative impacts/feelings (depending on who found out – most of my “circle” (friends/family) knows, but some don’t) but I don’t believe that shame/humiliation would be among them.  Annoyance, frustration, potentially anger at the fall-out (some people may cut me out of their lives, some may throw insults at me) but not shame.

That kind of intrigued me until I realized the rather depressing reason behind why I think, for me, humiliation doesn’t come into it.  Growing up I endured a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of my parents – especially my mother. I don’t want or expect pity for this.  It happened, I’ve dealt/am dealing with it. I only mention it here as context for the larger point I am trying to make about perspectives on humiliation and why I never use humiliation.

Growing up humiliation was the norm for me – it was my comfort zone because it reinforced my beliefs about myself which were fed to me by my folks.  Receiving a compliment was at best uncomfortable and at worst almost painful because it jarred with what I “knew” to be “true” about myself. I thought people were mocking me, or were working an “angle” because they wanted something from me.  It’s a very unpleasant and fucked up head-space and I suspect a lot of desire for humiliation stems from abuse because the abuser has trained the sub to believe that they deserve to be humiliated – that it is their “norm” – and it becomes, in a sick and twisted way, their “comfort zone”. Being humiliated reinforces their beliefs about themselves rather than challenging them with compliments which ironically become uncomfortable.

It’s taken me many years but I am in a much better head-space – I’ve more or less made peace with myself and accepted how fucked up the emotional abuse from my parents was (they still do it, but I’m now largely immune).  It took a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of pain if I’m honest, to get to a more positive, self-accepting place. I still suffer from depression and anxiety but I’m also much more confident in myself and enjoy accepting genuine compliments (unless they’re about my feet. I’m not a fan of my feet which is why you never see them. Haha).

Building my self worth took a lot. Changing my inner monologue from “you’re worthless” to “you’re amazing” took a lot.  I’m not arrogant and I recognize I’m not perfect but I like to celebrate my positives. I encourage my boys to do the same.  It’s why I *never* use humiliation. I know that dark place. I understand the twisted “pleasure” and how poisonous it is. I will never, ever inflict that on one of my boys.  I see my role as a Domme as being one of encouragement and support – in lifting them and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves they can be. I want to build their confidence and self-esteem rather than tearing it down.  I don’t need to humiliate my boys to be in control and I don’t want to.

I also believe this is why I am not humiliated at the prospect of being “found out”.  I am not ashamed of what I do and why should I be? Someone may not agree with my lifestyle but that does not mean I don’t have every reason to be proud of what I do.  I am a purveyor of hypnotic pleasure. I transform fantasies into reality. Go ahead – tell me that is not an absolutely insanely amazing thing to be able to do!

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated – please feel free to share below.

The Importance of Budgeting For Hypnosis Sessions

This may seem like a rather dry/boring topic to cover but it is a very important one.  It’s very easy, especially if you’re new to the scene, to get caught up in the flurry of excitement and pleasure and lose track of how much you’re spending.  You risk overspending/spending beyond your means and losing control of the experience which is really not something that you want.

I want to offer you some advice, support and suggestions to help you really make the most of your hypnosis experience so that it can be an enjoyable and sustainable pleasure in your life.  Please note that I am not a qualified financial adviser.  I am not offering formal advice – simply friendly suggestions.

If you already have a hypnotist in mind to work with, then you should know their pricing for the various services they offer (mp3s, videos, customs, phone sessions, skype sessions and/or in-person sessions depending on the hypnotist).  If you don’t already have a hypnotist in mind then I would recommend starting by reading my blog post “How to select a suitable hypnotist” first, then returning to this blog post as a follow up.

Step 1: Set your budget

So – let’s say you have a hypnotist you enjoy and want to support.  First step – what is your budget? This can either be a hard and fast limit, or relatively flexible. Though if you add in “flex”, also add a firm cap. Say your budget is 300 per month maximum for hypnosis (I’m plucking a random figure out of the air), but you feel you can “stretch” that, place an absolute cap – so 350.  Unless you are incredibly disciplined, don’t assume you can “borrow” from your budget month to month…so you spend 400 one month and assume you can rein yourself in and spend 200 the next month to balance things out. That’s a dangerous path to go down and not one i would recommend.

It’s important that you are realistic with your budget and only budget what you can legitimately afford for what is ultimately an “entertainment” expense.

Step 2: Formalise your “wish list”

what works for you and what do you want?  Do mp3’s work for you? Is that all you’re after? Or would you like a live session to help you improve your ability to trance?  Do you want/need one session (or a handful) to achieve what you have in mind, or would you like to make live sessions a regular thing?  You can always speak with your hypnotist/hypnoDomme to get their input and suggestions, but at the end of the day you’re compiling your wishlist.

Also factor in whether you expect to send tributes and if so, how much and how often.  You may not be sure at this stage so it’s perfectly okay to take an educated guess. Your wish list is a work in progress and is flexible.  At this stage we are looking to get a better idea of what you want so we can see if we can make it tally with your budget, which is the next step.

Step 3: Bringing together your wishlist and budget

Alright…so, first thing to do is tally up how much your “ideal” month costs. So could be purchase of three recordings, two one hour live sessions and a 150 tribute. Recordings will vary, so you can average them out…for the sake of this example let’s say the average 20 each. Live sessions cost 150 each.  We decided earlier that our budget was 300 a month so already it’s obvious that we are way over.

That’s okay – it’s given us a starting point to work from.  So we could drop to one, one hour live session and adjust the tribute and lower it to bring us in budget…or two live sessions and no recordings or tributes. There’s no right or wrong way to work this, and the formula may change month to month as well…it’s simply intended as a flexible way to help you maintain your budget.

Why is it so important to have a budget?

Basically because when you’re caught up in something new, fun and insanely pleasurable it’s very easy to get carried away. If you blow your budget in the first month, it may spook you and put you off hypnosis and if it doesn’t and you keep on spending without budgeting you risk overspending in the longer-term which will have its own negative consequences which we obviously want to avoid.

Budgets don’t have to be rigid – you know yourself and if you’re honest with yourself you’ll be able to calculate how much leeway is reasonable. But having the assurance of a budget that you stick to will be a weight off your mind as you don’t have to worry about the financial implications – you can relax and enjoy your trance experience without being distracted and that is priceless.

 

Are you a genuine submissive or a fetishist? Be honest.

An incredibly important, yet often overlooked aspect to enjoying erotic hypnosis involves giving careful and (arguably more importantly) honest consideration to what exactly it is you want to get out of the experience.

You could be indulging in erotic hypnosis for any number of reasons – curiosity, indulging a fetish/kink, exploring submission.  These are all perfectly reasonable and legitimate reasons. You may even not be sure yet exactly what it is you do want from the experience. That’s okay, too.

What is vitally important, however, is that you are honest with yourself and your hypnotist.  Honesty gives you a more genuine experience and allows your hypnotist to better tailor your experience to what you want.

I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have had clients tell me that their primary goal is submission – they want to submit to me and see hypnosis as a tool for deepening their submissive desires.  Fantastic – except when it’s not what you actually want, and instead your genuine intention is to play out a particular fantasy or kink. Playing out a fantasy or indulging in a kink isn’t inherently wrong in any way (I can’t begin to emphasize this enough), but misleading your hypnotist is.  It can lead to misunderstandings and potentially uncomfortable scenarios where the hypnotists suggestions don’t correlate with what you wanted. The hypnotist is working on the basis of you wanting to embrace genuine submission and you are working on the basis of playing out a specific fantasy you have.

Submission is just that – choosing to submit to the will/instruction of another individual who you trust and respect. Playing out a fantasy is selfish (and I don’t imply this in a negative way). You’re focusing on your own needs and desires rather than those of the person you are “submitting” to.  Genuine submission is selfless – your satisfaction comes from serving and pleasing the person you have chosen to submit to.

We all deserve to have our needs met (assuming they’re legal/don’t harm others and all other common sense disclaimers that may apply), and personally speaking as long as you’re honest with me about what you want I am often happy to oblige.  I am a big fan of pleasure and have built a career around making fantasies reality. It’s all good. Just don’t mislead me by telling me one thing when you mean/actually want something else as this kind of miscommunication can and does have consequences.  It can make situations uncomfortable when we’re not both on the same page and neither of us want that, do we?

If you’re not entirely sure what you want – tell me.  It’s okay. We can work it out together. Open, honest communication is absolutely essential to a healthy, fun and fulfilling experience.  It may be that you think you want to embrace submission but after dipping your toe in the water you find that actually you’re more attracted to the kink aspect and you don’t like the commitment of genuine submission.  Or perhaps you initially tell me that this is primarily a kink for you and then down the line you discover it’s become more and you really want to take things to the next level and genuinely submit and surrender to me and my control.

All these scenarios are fine as long as you are honest.  I know I keep hammering on about this, but it is so vitally important.  Honesty and communication are the foundations upon which a strong, healthy dynamic is built.  I am primarily an erotic hypnotist – I also include Domme elements with some clients. This means I can adapt depending on what needs/desires you communicate to me.

Being honest with me and yourself will allow allow you to enjoy a more immersive, fulfilling experience.  Take time. Think about what you want. Tell me. Simple!

What opinions do you have on this topic?  Have you spent a lot of time really thinking about what it is you want? I want you to share your thoughts in the comments below.

I am a hypnotist. I am also a human being.

The longer I’ve been involved in the hypno-kink scene (hypnoDomme, erotic hypnosis, etc) the more painfully aware I become of how some guys seem to become so absorbed in their own kink and desires that they forget that the person they’re dealing with is a living, breathing human being and not simply some ethereal extension of their fantasies and desires.

 

I appreciate that it can get easy to get carried away as you indulge your mind and body and embrace the pleasures of what can be a truly transformative experience, but I also feel that it is appropriate not to lose sight of the fact that the person you’re interacting with is just that – a person.  We may be excellent at what we do (I know I am, and I am proud of that fact – it’s the result of years of effort and practice on my part), but just because this is a transactional experience and you are paying for our time and expertise, it in no way entitles you to behave in a rude or impolite manner.

 

Just to clarify – not all clients are rude. Many of my clients are absolutely wonderful and I appreciate the mutual respect that exists.  Some, however, believe that as they are paying for a service that means they are entitled to treat the person delivering the service in any way they want – rules and manners go out the window and are replaced with selfishness and poor conduct.  Demands are made with no thought to appropriate conduct or respect. The “I’m paying you so I can say/treat you how I want” mentality takes over.

 

Let’s get one thing straight – such behavior is rude, inappropriate and will not be tolerated.  If you try to behave that way with me I will decline to work with you. I absolutely love hypnosis and I love what I do.  I actively encourage people to communicate their desires with me – but mutual respect is paramount. Yes, I am a hypnotist but I am also a human being. I have independent thoughts and feelings. I do what I do because I love it, but I also do it on my terms.

 

Those of you who know me already know that I go out of my way to be friendly and approachable. I do what I can to “give back” to the hypno community and I am happy to answer hypnosis related questions.  Trance is an amazing experience and I want as many people as possible to be able to enjoy it – it’s one reason why I ensure my rates for Skype sessions are so reasonable. Yes, I could charge a lot more but I want to remain accessible.

 

I go out of my way to make trance a positive experience for people but the amount of disrespect I (and other hypnotists) receive on a daily basis is depressing.  The all too common assumption that we somehow exist solely for your entertainment, or that if we love what we do then why don’t we do it for free? Making excessive demands of our time without paying for it (as I said before, I am happy to help but there are limits – please be mindful and respectful of my time and its value.  Happy to answer the odd question but multiple queries which require time to respond to is not okay – that is time I could be spending earning money. We all have bills to pay, after all).

 

It doesn’t take much to show basic respect and decency.  To show appreciation for your hypnotist and their work. Yes, we may love what we do (I know I do), but unless I win the lottery I simply cannot afford to offer my services for free and really do not appreciate people trying to take advantage of my good nature.  I am sure other hypnotists feel the same way. I am a hypnotist but I am also a person. An individual. I think, I feel and yes, I get upset when I feel that people are being disrespectful and/or trying to take advantage.

 

You want to earn respect from someone? Give them respect. Show them you are worthy of their time by being a decent human being. It doesn’t take much. Basic manners go a long way.  As a hypnotist I am to give all my clients a first rate experience. As a person I am much more likely to want to invest my time and energy into people who are kind, polite and respectful.  You reap what you sow. You want a better connection with your hypnotist? Think about how you can be a better person. What you can do to be better for them and it will come back to you tenfold.  Just ask any of my good boys. A good, solid relationship with an exceptional hypnotist can be a positive, transformative experience in your life but it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consideration and investment.  Give and ye shall receive.