***trigger warning: this blog contains details relating to inappropriate triggers used on a minor***
Those of you who know me know how I pride myself on my ethics, especially when it comes to hypnosis. It is very important to me that my clients know and feel safe with me. That they understand that their well-being is my priority.
Recently someone added a comment to a blog I wrote. I didn’t feel that the comment was appropriate to allow in response to the blog itself due to potentially triggering content, but I have included it below as an illustration of why ethics are so, so important in hypnosis (I should add that the story below is essentially “hearsay” as I have no way to independently verify what the original author has claimed occurred):
“At a stage show a couple of years ago at the Hypnothoughts Live conference in Las Vegas, a 15-year old girl was among the participants. She was implanted with a trigger that when her shoulder was touched, she would orgasm. After the show, people (men) kept coming up to her and touching her shoulder – it was VERY distressing to both the girl and her mother, who was present.
This should have been a NO-NO! It was highly improper and unethical, on the part of the hypnotist, especially with a minor and not to have removed the suggestion!”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why the above behaviour is incredibly inappropriate and that in itself makes the alleged event even more dismaying. It is so obviously, blatantly unethical and downright predatory – not only of the hypnotist but the men who chose subsequently to take advantage. The fact that the individual in question was also a minor makes what transpired even more heinous.
I simply cannot emphasize enough how important ethics is in hypnosis. Your hypnotist should make you feel safe and confident in their abilities as well as satisfied that they are placing a significant emphasis on your well-being. Trust your gut. If something feels “off”, even if you can’t put that feeling into words, you do not need to proceed. If you are in trance and the hypnotist suggests something that you are not comfortable with, you are not obliged to follow through. What will most likely happen is that you will snap out of trance at which point you can verbally object to the hypnotists suggestion. If the suggestion you were uncomfortable with wasn’t a deliberate ploy on the hypnotists part then they should be able to calmly talk through with you what happened and why, take this in to account and be mindful moving forward. They shouldn’t ask or encourage you to trance again until you feel comfortable and confident to do so. If the suggestion was deliberate (sadly bad, unethical hypnotists do exist as the above story illustrates) then you have the option to walk away altogether.
I think part of the problem is that people feel that once they are in trance they lose all control and feel as if they have to follow through with triggers and commands, even if they are not comfortable with them. This is simply not true. You always have a choice. It doesn’t matter how deeply you are tranced. If this is an area of concern for you then I would recommend listening to a free mp3s I have – “Art of Control”. If it makes it easier for you, listen through the first time without trancing to make sure you’re comfortable with the content. Doing this won’t prevent you from being able to achieve and enjoy trancing to this recording when you are ready to.
If you are a hypnotist reading this – please be mindful of ethics and ethical implications of what you’re doing and/or want to do. Your subject is placing their trust in you. Please don’t abuse it. Your subjects physical and mental well-being should be your top priority.
Thoughts? Comments? Please share below.
So…this blog post references my personal goals for September (And to some extent beyond) but feel free to take the idea and run with it yourselves – consider what goals you have and how you plan to implement them.
As for me…I’ve been musing over my goals for a few months now. Thinking about what I want to achieve and how I will do it. What the logistics are, what’s realistic, etc.
So – I decided to create a list and here it is:
1. I want to take a trip back to UK for 10 days/2 weeks in either September or early October to catch up with my best friend and my great aunt (who turned 101 a few months ago) and who I am very close to. Flights will cost around $500-$700, plus car rental (another$300-$400) plus potentially Airbnb and spending money.
2. I want to visit friends in the USA. This is more vague location and date wise as I have friends all over but it’s something I want to achieve in next 12 months.
3. Go out with friends to celebrate the fact I have been in Canada for an entire year!!!
4. Make a bigger deal out of my birthday (which is September 8th). For the last decade or so I’ve never really acknowledged or celebrated my birthday in any real way. I would like to change that this year.
5. This one is still only a possibility, but I am considering getting a second cat. Those of you who know me know my cat Moose is a bit of a weirdo (to put it mildly) and is not the meek and mild cat I was told he was by the place I rescued him from. His behaviour is making me think he may benefit from a feline companion so it’s something I am looking into. Adoption costs will be in the $200 range, plus cost of extra food, accessories, money to put away for vets bills.
So yeah…those are the main goals I have, especially the UK trip.
If you feel like supporting me in these endeavours, all contributions either through tributes or Skype, mp3 and/or video , purchases are *much* appreciated.
Full disclosure – this blog post serves no purpose other than me getting my thoughts down regarding what was a rather mixed bag of a week.
It was a busy week, which was great – I love hypnosis and the more opportunities I have to enjoy it the better. But it was also a mixed bag in terms of clients. I had a mix of what is typical for me – really lovely clients, both old and new – but also more than one client who presented challenges. What do I mean by that? They were either rude/abusive or messed me around/wasted my time.
Thankfully such instances are incredibly rare but it did make me realise that I need to take a firmer approach to reiterating that I am a business a I suspect some of the aggressiveness I encountered was from me initially being too nice and letting things slide when I shouldn’t.
I love what I do and I am always happy to answer genuine questions from prospective and actual clients, but for some clients this seems to encourage a blurring of professional boundaries. They will either reach out to me on my site “Just to chat” or get frustrated when I do not respond to questions they have quickly enough.
I reiterate that people like this are in the minority and I still believe many of those are not being deliberately manipulative but as a businesswoman it does get frustrating to have to repeatedly reinforce professional boundaries.
I love hypnosis, I love being able to enjoy sessions with clients. I am friendly and approachable and don’t intend to change that – but me being friendly does not mean you have permission to take advantage of me or my time.
I understand why many Dommes request tributes before interaction. It weeds out timewasters. I don’t ask for tributes simply to talk with me – all I ask is that you respect my time. Be reasonable. I’m happy to answer genuine questions, but please be mindful of my time. Time I am spending answering questions for free is time I could be spending earning money.
I happily give some of my time for answering questions because I enjoy being able to give back to the hypnosis community but it doesn’t mean I am free to chat just for the sake of it, or give you in-depth details you can later use to jerk off to (again, a minority but it does happen!)
Striking a balance between being available and not having people try to take advantage is not easy. If I didn’t love hypnosis as much as I do, I probably would have sought another job a long time ago. But I am here and I remain passionate and committed to what I do.
I’m also aware that I am very lucky that the unpleasant clients I have to deal with are definitely in the minority and most of my clients and those who interact with me do respect my time.
My intention here isn’t to stop people from reaching out to me. I’m here to help. All I ask is that you be respectful of my time.
And to my amazing clients, both from last week and in general – thank you for being so wonderful. Without your support I couldn’t continue doing what I love. You rock!
Whilst it’s true to say that I operate primarily as an erotic hypnotist rather than a hypnoDomme (meaning the Dominant/submissive [D/s] dynamic is optional), I do enjoy truly special relationships with some very good boys. A genuine relationship takes time to establish as trust and mutual understanding must be given the opportunity to evolve and flourish, but the results can be truly incredible.
As a case in point, I enjoyed a lovely Skype hypnosis session (find more info here) earlier today with a very good boy who I have known and interacted with for a good while. We enjoy a strong D/s dynamic and he has found a great deal of comfort, reassurance and pleasure in choosing to surrender to my control. I take great pride in empowering my submissive boys – encouraging them to be the best version of themselves that they possibly can be, and I love watching my boys gain confidence through submission and truly shine.
In the Skype hypnosis session we enjoyed today, we tried a little experiment. I put him into trance and had him write a note for his conscious mind. His conscious mind would have no recollection of writing the note, nor any input into its contents. I gave no guidance or suggestions regarding what to write – the content of the note was entirely up to his subconscious mind to share.
The results ended up being so beautiful and eloquent I immediately asked my boy if he would mind me (anonymously) sharing it and he kindly agreed.
Here it is:
“This butterfly is auxillary, it flutters up, and shows you something.
The benefits of being owned are numerous and inobvious. There is the level of relaxation it can bring, the peace of mind, the feelings of focus and devotion.
The incomprenensible depth of pleasure.
The sensual pleasure of exploring yourself, knowing your Mistress is exploring with you and that the depths you feel are exposed to her control, that your pleasure is her pleasure, that you can be consumed and utterly give yourself to her power.
That you can appreciate the beauty of her voice, her body and her mind, her will, her power overwhelming you with bliss, your consciousness overwhelmed and subject to her power, her beautiful power and strength, and grip.
The pleasure of relinquishment, of feeling her will at your core, of feeling her words as your own thoughts, of her words becoming your own mind.
The freedom of not having to think, to worry, to strategize, but just to obey what is given to you as a sensual gift”.
Such a beautifully written, eloquent expression of his experience of submission to me. Of being owned by me. I wanted to share it with you to give you a glimpse into the possibilities that exist in submission to me…the potential for pleasure and personal growth.
Every dynamic is different – every boy chooses to express their submission in different ways – but submission is a gift, and there is pleasure to be had in both gifting yourself through submission to a Domme you trust as well as reaping the benefits of submission and surrender.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this glimpse into the possibilities.
Thoughts? Opinion? Questions? Please share by leaving a comment (or two) below. Thank you.