An incredibly important, yet often overlooked aspect to enjoying erotic hypnosis involves giving careful and (arguably more importantly) honest consideration to what exactly it is you want to get out of the experience.
You could be indulging in erotic hypnosis for any number of reasons – curiosity, indulging a fetish/kink, exploring submission. These are all perfectly reasonable and legitimate reasons. You may even not be sure yet exactly what it is you do want from the experience. That’s okay, too.
What is vitally important, however, is that you are honest with yourself and your hypnotist. Honesty gives you a more genuine experience and allows your hypnotist to better tailor your experience to what you want.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have had clients tell me that their primary goal is submission – they want to submit to me and see hypnosis as a tool for deepening their submissive desires. Fantastic – except when it’s not what you actually want, and instead your genuine intention is to play out a particular fantasy or kink. Playing out a fantasy or indulging in a kink isn’t inherently wrong in any way (I can’t begin to emphasize this enough), but misleading your hypnotist is. It can lead to misunderstandings and potentially uncomfortable scenarios where the hypnotists suggestions don’t correlate with what you wanted. The hypnotist is working on the basis of you wanting to embrace genuine submission and you are working on the basis of playing out a specific fantasy you have.
Submission is just that – choosing to submit to the will/instruction of another individual who you trust and respect. Playing out a fantasy is selfish (and I don’t imply this in a negative way). You’re focusing on your own needs and desires rather than those of the person you are “submitting” to. Genuine submission is selfless – your satisfaction comes from serving and pleasing the person you have chosen to submit to.
We all deserve to have our needs met (assuming they’re legal/don’t harm others and all other common sense disclaimers that may apply), and personally speaking as long as you’re honest with me about what you want I am often happy to oblige. I am a big fan of pleasure and have built a career around making fantasies reality. It’s all good. Just don’t mislead me by telling me one thing when you mean/actually want something else as this kind of miscommunication can and does have consequences. It can make situations uncomfortable when we’re not both on the same page and neither of us want that, do we?
If you’re not entirely sure what you want – tell me. It’s okay. We can work it out together. Open, honest communication is absolutely essential to a healthy, fun and fulfilling experience. It may be that you think you want to embrace submission but after dipping your toe in the water you find that actually you’re more attracted to the kink aspect and you don’t like the commitment of genuine submission. Or perhaps you initially tell me that this is primarily a kink for you and then down the line you discover it’s become more and you really want to take things to the next level and genuinely submit and surrender to me and my control.
All these scenarios are fine as long as you are honest. I know I keep hammering on about this, but it is so vitally important. Honesty and communication are the foundations upon which a strong, healthy dynamic is built. I am primarily an erotic hypnotist – I also include Domme elements with some clients. This means I can adapt depending on what needs/desires you communicate to me.
Being honest with me and yourself will allow allow you to enjoy a more immersive, fulfilling experience. Take time. Think about what you want. Tell me. Simple!
What opinions do you have on this topic? Have you spent a lot of time really thinking about what it is you want? I want you to share your thoughts in the comments below.
For me, submission is a religious-like experience. It’s profound, beautiful, life-changing and -affirming, epiphanal. That’s to do with my particular psychological make-up. Other people’s minds work quite differently (and some similarly, of course). Most people are not drawn to be a priest or monk, for instance. Natural religiosity varies. (I’d think people are submissive in other ways as well, but I can’t really comment on that)
If so, you have other strengths and inclinations. It makes sense to discover what those are, and build on them. It’s tempting to conform to familiar stories– narratives– as those are often the basis of fantasy, particularly when you enjoy being dominated, since the story takes over. I’ve found myself following and getting into many different stories. It’s important to experiment, but try to be real with yourself and others. They are not from inside your fantasies, but sharing them with you from within the real world, and it’s important to step back and be objective (which necessitates honesty!) when developing an understanding.
You may also want to conform to (imagined) expectations to try and get the best reaction. That’s normal, but not best practice in this context, I think. Really you’re deceiving yourself, as a hypnotist can give you access to yourself, but only if you’re honest. Otherwise you’re likely chasing phantoms you’ve conjured yourself.
If you’re here, I guess you want to give yourself up to something other than yourself, at least some of the time. As I said, a powerful story can feed into that. But there are lots of reasons for enjoying it. Further, your practical circumstances or where you are emotionally may not allow deeper commitment. You don’t have to give commitment, and you don’t have to enjoy it in exactly the way convention might suggest, but make sure all involved understand that.
I am so glad you published this piece. It seems to sum up my position 100%, although I was unaware of this until now.
i am a genuine submissive but i struggle with accepting it. It’s one of those feelings that drives to my core being.
Genuinely a submissive with a fetish for hypnotic subjugation