by queenofdreams | May 5, 2018 | Hypnosis
It’s been an interesting journey for me, hypnosis. For years it was a hobby until after 2 years of persuasion, a good friend friend encouraged me to go pro. I’ve been doing hypnosis full time for around a year now and it’s been such an incredible experience. The freedom it’s given me – both in terms of creative expression and simply time (I set my own schedule) has been absolutely invaluable.
Whilst my primary focus has always been on the live Skype hypnosis sessions which I absolutely love (and which testimonials suggest are also loved by those who enjoy such sessions with me), I’ve also been building a catalogue of recordings. I wanted to share my top 5 mp3’s right now. My favorites change often depending on my moods, but these 5 recordings (offered in no particular order of preference) are the ones that currently make my little heart happy:
Anticipation
This recording will always hold a special place in my heart as it was the first mp3 I ever made. It’s deliciously dark…a seductive story that leads you on a journey of obedience and surrender…enthralls you with the power of submission. It’s a story that draws you in…nourishes and plays your desire to submit. I take you out for the evening…control you…and build the anticipation.
Down The Rabbit Hole
This is a confusion induction recording. Confusion inductions can be tricky to execute correctly – especially in recordings as you have no way of accurately gauging how the individual who is listening is responding. Still – I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and I have to say I am really, really pleased with how this recording has turned out. It’s very effective but it’s also not too “hard” as some confusion inductions can be. It’s not intended to overwhelm and confuse in an uncomfortable way. It’s fun and ephemeral and whimsical…inviting you on a surreal journey loosely based on that of Alice in Wonderland. A really fun and unusual recording that I am very proud of.
Surrender & Obey
This was one of my first forays into the more direct dominant style which is typical of hypnoDommes. Generally my style is quieter…more seductive. But this time I wanted to explore my dominant side and let it out to play for a little while. “Surrender & Obey” was the result, and boy have you boys responded to it. It’s a consistently popular file and encouraged me to explore my darker, more directly dominant side more which led to…
FuckToy
This started out as an experiment. I wanted to push the limits of dominance and pleasure whilst still maintaining my boundaries. A direct, intense and dominant file, I’ve made sure there is absolutely no humiliation. That was very important to me. This recording took a long, long time to come together as I was pushing my own boundaries…discovering what was possible and how I could incorporate intense domination into my typically softer style and approach. But this recording, once finished, worked. And boy does it work! It’s probably one of my most popular recordings to date and I love that I get to completely unleash my inner Domme and remind you who is in control…moulding you to become my obedient fucktoy. It’s deep and intense and powerful.
Mindgasm
If you know me then you know I love pleasure. I love encouraging people to enjoy and embrace pleasure. To discover new pleasure. To push the limits of pleasure…and that’s exactly what this recording does. Perfectly. You know what an orgasm is – well a mindgasm is the mental equivalent. Flooding your mind with waves of intense, orgasmic pleasure. I love this recording because it’s so pleasure focused and because it is so, so effective.
You can explore these recordings and more by checking out my MP3 and Video shop as well as listening to samples.
If you’ve enjoyed any of the above recordings I would love to hear your thoughts so please share your comments here.
by queenofdreams | Feb 9, 2018 | Fetish, Personal
Humiliation has no place in the fetish scene. A bold and contentious statement if ever there was one. I’m sure there are Dom/mes and subs alike who would actively disagree with me on this front and argue that humiliation is fine and can be enjoyed. I disagree.
I consider myself a pretty liberal person – my stance for the most part is that as long as it’s legal and consensual, who am I to judge? For me, though, humiliation is one of the exceptions. I fundamentally disagree with it and my heart breaks when I see someone seeking out humiliation/expressing a desire to be humiliated. Why? Because in my experience it never comes from a healthy place.
When I was first starting out and exploring the fetish landscape I had a client who came to me wanting to be humiliated. I indulged him but felt uneasy doing so. After the session we talked and I asked him about his reasons for wanting to be humiliated. He was very gracious and shared openly with me, but his reasons were depressing. In essence growing up he had been regularly humiliated and emotionally abused to the point where the pain had “twisted” into a fetishistic need on his part.
I can already hear you saying “don’t judge a fetish by one person’s experience”, and you’re right. Whilst I have since refused to offer humiliation as a service, I have spoken with people who have had this fetish and every single time the story behind the fetish has been negative. Not once has the fetish evolved from a healthy place. It’s a psychological equivalent in my eyes of seeking out self-harm or validation that you are somehow “less than” or “deserving” of humiliation.
In my mind a Dom/me should be a safe space for a sub. Someone to reinforce positive emotions rather than enforce negative. I do appreciate that the process can encompass areas I may not personally like – e.g. pain – but pain, done properly and professionally has a purpose – it releases endorphins among other things. I may not personally agree with it, but I can see the appeal. To me, humiliation has no upsides. It’s reinforcing negativity which is not healthy/.
I value my boys and encourage them to be the best versions of themselves I can be. I want to lift them up, not drag them down. Yes I sometimes playfully tease some of my boys (the ones I know well and have a good relationship with) but that never strays into humiliation. Yes, I push their boundaries at times (again when I know them well) but it is done with the intention of building my boys up and enhancing the experience without abusing their trust or making them believe that they are somehow “less” than me.
A weak dominant in my experiences often tries to assert their control by putting down the other person – by suggesting that person is weak and needs to be put in their place. In reality the weak dominant needs to do this to try and validate their own precarious position. A strong dominant doesn’t need to humiliate, or constantly verbalise the fact that they claim to be in control. It’s simply assumed and borne out by attitude and body language. I am by no means overly dominant but my boys still know who is in control. They don’t fear me or potential punishment. They serve me because they want to. Because they trust me and because they know that I always have their best interests at heart. I don’t need to threaten or manipulate or put down. I support them and encourage to push their boundaries and limits and because they know me, trust me and are comfortable with my intentions they trust me. That trust earns me far more respect than fear or humiliation ever would.
I don’t want my boys broken and humiliated – I want them to be confident and self-assured, both in themselves and their submission to me. I want them to feel empowered to use their initiative rather than expecting to have every move dictated to them. If I allow you to serve me I become responsible for you and your wellbeing when you are under my control. Deliberately choosing to erode someone’s self worth through humiliation is completely at odds with that.
Leaving aside the effects on the sub, inflicting humiliation on someone doesn’t come from a good place either. If someone pushes me to breaking point I can be exceptionally verbally venomous (I have reduced grown men to tears before simply by using my voice). It’s not something I’m proud of, and it’s not something I would ever employ again as a “service”. When I have done it in the past it has been when I have been pushed to the limit and all my attempts to mitigate/de-escalate the situation have failed. It’s never made me feel good, nor has it it ever helped me. It’s not the type of behaviour I enjoy experiencing or encouraging. I suppose if I were a genuine sadist I may take a different view, but for the vast majority of people there is nothing to be gained by giving or receiving humiliation.
Just my 2 cents on the matter. I appreciate and respect other’s will hold different views and believe that if we all liked the same things then life would be very boring indeed.
What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.
by queenofdreams | Feb 2, 2018 | Hypnosis
I firmly believe that a lot of people who have submissive tendencies (especially people not already accustomed to the BDSM/fetish scene) shy away from labeling themselves as submissive, or even indulging their submissive side because they disagree with the commonly held view that to be submissive is to be less than, to be open to being humiliated/degraded or even to mean that if you’re submissive you’re meant to be submissive to anyone who asserts themselves as dominant.
If you’ve only recently discovered/accepted/embraced your submissive tendencies and you are otherwise vanilla and unfamiliar with the BDSM/kink scene then many of the “assumptions” made about what it means to be submissive can range from simply confusing to downright off-putting if you’re still unsure about what it means and how you feel.
I’ve seen comments that subs are “worthless” or “beneath” dominants, and there is regular insinuation or open talk of humiliation and degradation which personally I find very unpalatable. I do appreciate that being submissive encompasses a broad range of possibilities in terms of how the individual’s submission is expressed but my concern is that the more extreme elements appear to dominate and I worry that this may be alienating/pushing away many submissives who don’t identify with these.
Being submissive doesn’t necessarily make you submissive in general. Many of my boys choose and/or feel submissive only to me. Feeling unexpectedly submissive toward someone when you don’t identify as submissive (and/or typically identify as an alpha personality) can be confusing. Especially when you research and see so many references to humiliation and degradation. What if you feel submissive but don’t want to be humiliated? Does that mean you’re not submissive? Then why do you feel submissive?
Whilst some Dom/mes can use humiliation as a tool as part of submission (consensually, one would hope), I don’t see it as an inherent part of submission. At its essence, submission is just that – a desire to submit. Yes there are a lot of add-ons which are dependent upon the individuals personal kinks, but submission doesn’t have to be complex. It often is for a variety of reasons, but it doesn’t have to be.
For my part, I refuse to humiliate those who choose to be submissive to me. I do not see them as beneath me or “less than” in any way, shape or form. My own personal take is that submission is a gift which should be offered to someone who you trust and respect, and who in turn respects you. The recipient of the gift of submission/surrender should appreciate its value and treasure it appropriately. Genuinely offered submission is precious and should be treated as such.
A Dominant has a responsibility to their subs. Trust and communication on both sides are vital ingredients to a healthy dynamic. Again, I appreciate that some Dom/mes like to dictate their subs lives, make all their decisions for them, etc, but I question how healthy this dynamic is. Just because I am in control doesn’t (and shouldn’t) mean that I have to constantly exert that control. Surely if the control needs to be constantly enforced then the foundations weren’t very strong to begin with? Surely far better to encourage a submissive to show their respect to their Dominant by being the best possible version of themselves that they can be. By using their initiative to better themselves and finding ways to please their Dominant. This doesn’t exclude the Dominant party from taking complete control on occasion, but operating in this way those occasions become mutually pleasurable ways to reinforce the dynamic at appropriate intervals rather than constantly working to prop it up. I know I would find a sub who is confident in their submission and comfortable taking initiative far more valuable than one who constantly seeks attention and direction. The D/s dynamic should be pleasurable, enriching and valuable to both parties – not emotionally painful (I do appreciate some seek out physical pain for various reasons) and/or exploitative.
I think it’s also important to have a “safe space” for those new to/exploring submission. One where they can feel comfortable coming to terms with what submission means to them. Yes, eventually their submissive needs may evolve to encompass more elements/may become more “hardcore”, but more should be done to engage those new to submission with more reassurance and awareness of options available. Submission isn’t a “one size fits all” deal. It’s okay to dip your toe in the water and explore without engaging in humiliation. Humiliation isn’t a core aspect of submission and if I could shout that from the rooftops, then believe me I would!
Submission is a personal journey. Take your time and recognise your submission for the gift it is. Save it for someone special who deserves it, respects your gift and will take care of you.
by queenofdreams | Jan 25, 2018 | Hypnosis
Is it possible to utilise hypnosis to enjoy hands free orgasms?
The short answer is yes, definitely (check out the videos here for evidence)
Ending there, however, wouldn’t make for a particularly interesting or informative so as I get asked about hands-free orgasms and hypnosis quite a bit I’m going to use this post to talk in a little more detail about hands free orgasms, how they work, and how I incorporate them into my sessions.
Most people tend to associate orgasms with ejaculation (particularly when it comes to men). It’s understandable as both experiences happen simultaneously, but although they are connected they’re not a single action. It is perfectly possible to enjoy a physical, pleasurable orgasm without ejaculating. As I like to say – all of the fun and none of the mess. In addition, it’s possible to enjoy an orgasm without physical stimulation (e.g. masturbating). Mind blown – am I right? Haha.
So – how does it happen? Well, I can only speak to how I incorporate this into my hypnosis sessions (others may do things differently) but the good news for you is it’s pretty straightforward. I essentially incorporate the orgasm (sans ejaculation) as a response to a given command/trigger/post-hypnotic trigger. So, when I have you in trance I essentially make a deal with your subconscious that when I say the “trigger” word/command (in this case “orgasm”), your body instantly, without consciously thinking about it, responds to my command with a physical (and very pleasurable) orgasm.
The benefit of doing things this way is that you can orgasm in trance, but the trigger/command can also be used as a post-hypnotic suggestion which means that it works out of trance as well. I often have a lot of fun randomly triggering my regular boys at unexpected moments during sessions just for fun. Of course, safety is also important so whenever I give a trigger like this it comes with the understanding that the triggers only work when I give them. This means you won’t be unexpectedly triggered at an inopportune moment.
Your mind essentially constructs your reality. By accessing your subconscious mind through hypnosis I am able to tap into the immense power that your mind holds, but which your conscious mind only has limited access to. You may feel an orgasm in your cock, but it all starts in your mind.
As with any trigger, some people are able to enjoy this in their first session, for others it can take longer. It’s different for everyone. I’ve had some clients who have taken a couple of sessions to come to terms with the revelation of hands-free orgasms and fully embrace its potential, but have been able to enjoy other triggers instantly. Conversely I’ve had a boy who mastered the orgasm trigger in the first session, but took a while to feel comfortable with amnesia.
Everyone is different. I can’t emphasize this enough. If a trigger doesn’t “take” as well as you hoped in the first instance it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” in any way. It simply means your subconscious needs more time to adjust to/embrace the possibilities and that is absolutely fine. I have a lot of tools in my “hypnotic toolbox” and if one strategy doesn’t have the desired effect then I have plenty of other options to achieve the desired result.
The important thing is to have fun – to enjoy the experience and not sweat the small stuff. Just because something doesn’t happen right now don’t mean it won’t happen. The fear of failure holds a lot of people back and acts as a barrier to achieving what you want but if you work with a hypnotist who you trust and embrace a little patience when required (not always easy, but the rewards are more than worth it!) then you can enjoy pleasurable experiences – like hands-free orgasms – beyond your wildest imagination.
For instance I’ve also trained some of my boys to cum on command (sometimes without even needing to implant a specific trigger…isn’t it amazing what can be achieved when you truly submit to the power and control of a wonderful hypnotist?). Not only do they cum on command, but they can cum multiple times (in quick succession) if I command it. As I have already said – amazing things are possible, and the hardest part is taking that first step and engaging with the hypnotist, booking a session. I always recommend live sessions (at least initially) for hands-free orgasms as it means I can tailor the experience specifically to you. If you’ve tried MP3 triggers in the past without success it doesn’t mean you’re not capable – it simply means that your odds of success will skyrocket with a live session where the hypnotist can work with you in real time.
I’m also able to say to my boys (completely truthfully) that it gets better every time. Because it does. The more you engage with a specific hypnotist. The more you engage with that relationship, the more trust you build and the more possibilities for pleasure you unlock. It really is that simple.
If you’re interested in booking a Skype session with me, then check out my Skype page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/Skype/
If you’re curious about others experiences of Skype sessions with me then take a look at my Testimonials page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/testimonials/
by queenofdreams | Aug 25, 2017 | Hypnosis
The concept of erotic hypnosis is still a relatively niche one, and not as of yet particularly well developed. It’s growing, for sure, but there are still grey areas where delineations are somewhat blurred. The differentiation between what constitutes a hypnoDomme and an erotic hypnotist are excellent examples of this.
The two terms are often used interchangeably to mean “more or less” the same thing, but I’m not convinced that that’s the case. To my mind, if you’re a hypnoDomme then by the very nature of what you do you’re likely also an erotic hypnotist but I also believe it is possible to be an erotic hypnotist without also identifying as a hypnoDomme.
Why? Well, it all comes down to the specialities of each profession. To aim to make things a little clearer I’ve provided brief (and subjective as they’re purely based on my own interpretation) definitions of hypnoDommes and erotic hypnotists to hopefully better illustrate my point of view.
HypnoDommes are hypnotists who specialise in working within the BDSM niche. They utilise hypnosis as a means to heighten/deepen typical D/s (Dominant/submissive) scenarios. The focus is on creating a richer dynamic, and introducing trance allows a hypnoDomme to deepen their control (with the consent of their subject) which allows for an often much more intense experience. What were traditionally physical aspects of the BDSM scene – for example bondage – can also be brought into play as a hypnoDomme can use the power of a hypnotic trance to convince a subject that they are appropriately bound (and have the subject believe this absolutely) even in the absence of physical restraints.
Erotic Hypnotists are more generalised. The application of hypnosis is for the purpose of eroticism/arousal and whilst this can encompass D/s elements, it is by no means confined to them. Hands-free orgasms, for example, can be used by HypnoDommes as an expression of control but they do not need to be framed this way. An erotic hypnotist could induce a hands-free orgasm purely because it is a pleasurable/erotic experience. Some people do not like the idea of being submissive/giving up control and with erotic hypnosis they do not have to. Giving up control is not a requirement to enjoy trance. It’s simply an added option that exists if you want to utilise it.
Personally I identify as an erotic hypnotist who can and does incorporate being a hypnoDomme when it’s appropriate to do so. Why do I identify myself this way? Because my main focus is pleasure, and (as long as it’s legal of course), I don’t discriminate how that pleasure is enjoyed. Some people’s pleasure incorporates submissive elements, but for others it doesn’t and I like being able to embrace both sides. Besides, even when I do incorporate D/s elements into trances, my style of domination is typically much more subtle and nuanced than the average Domme. I’m not overt, I don’t make demands…but I still manage to accept and exert complete control where appropriate.
I hope that as the erotic hypnosis/hypnoDomme scene continues to grow the delineations and nuances between the two will continue to become more pronounced as I do worry sometimes that people who may be interested in Erotic Hypnosis are perhaps discouraged by the assumption that submission/surrender and other D/s elements are required. Erotic hypnosis is open to all who enjoy pleasure in all its forms. As a hypnotist I can literally make your fantasies become your realities and let’s be honest– how cool is that?!
I would love to hear your thoughts on the similarities/differences between hypnoDommes and erotic hypnosis so please feel free to share in the comments below.
