This may seem like a rather dry/boring topic to cover but it is a very important one. It’s very easy, especially if you’re new to the scene, to get caught up in the flurry of excitement and pleasure and lose track of how much you’re spending. You risk overspending/spending beyond your means and losing control of the experience which is really not something that you want.
I want to offer you some advice, support and suggestions to help you really make the most of your hypnosis experience so that it can be an enjoyable and sustainable pleasure in your life. Please note that I am not a qualified financial adviser. I am not offering formal advice – simply friendly suggestions.
If you already have a hypnotist in mind to work with, then you should know their pricing for the various services they offer (mp3s, videos, customs, phone sessions, skype sessions and/or in-person sessions depending on the hypnotist). If you don’t already have a hypnotist in mind then I would recommend starting by reading my blog post “How to select a suitable hypnotist” first, then returning to this blog post as a follow up.
Step 1: Set your budget
So – let’s say you have a hypnotist you enjoy and want to support. First step – what is your budget? This can either be a hard and fast limit, or relatively flexible. Though if you add in “flex”, also add a firm cap. Say your budget is 300 per month maximum for hypnosis (I’m plucking a random figure out of the air), but you feel you can “stretch” that, place an absolute cap – so 350. Unless you are incredibly disciplined, don’t assume you can “borrow” from your budget month to month…so you spend 400 one month and assume you can rein yourself in and spend 200 the next month to balance things out. That’s a dangerous path to go down and not one i would recommend.
It’s important that you are realistic with your budget and only budget what you can legitimately afford for what is ultimately an “entertainment” expense.
Step 2: Formalise your “wish list”
what works for you and what do you want? Do mp3’s work for you? Is that all you’re after? Or would you like a live session to help you improve your ability to trance? Do you want/need one session (or a handful) to achieve what you have in mind, or would you like to make live sessions a regular thing? You can always speak with your hypnotist/hypnoDomme to get their input and suggestions, but at the end of the day you’re compiling your wishlist.
Also factor in whether you expect to send tributes and if so, how much and how often. You may not be sure at this stage so it’s perfectly okay to take an educated guess. Your wish list is a work in progress and is flexible. At this stage we are looking to get a better idea of what you want so we can see if we can make it tally with your budget, which is the next step.
Step 3: Bringing together your wishlist and budget
Alright…so, first thing to do is tally up how much your “ideal” month costs. So could be purchase of three recordings, two one hour live sessions and a 150 tribute. Recordings will vary, so you can average them out…for the sake of this example let’s say the average 20 each. Live sessions cost 150 each. We decided earlier that our budget was 300 a month so already it’s obvious that we are way over.
That’s okay – it’s given us a starting point to work from. So we could drop to one, one hour live session and adjust the tribute and lower it to bring us in budget…or two live sessions and no recordings or tributes. There’s no right or wrong way to work this, and the formula may change month to month as well…it’s simply intended as a flexible way to help you maintain your budget.
Why is it so important to have a budget?
Basically because when you’re caught up in something new, fun and insanely pleasurable it’s very easy to get carried away. If you blow your budget in the first month, it may spook you and put you off hypnosis and if it doesn’t and you keep on spending without budgeting you risk overspending in the longer-term which will have its own negative consequences which we obviously want to avoid.
Budgets don’t have to be rigid – you know yourself and if you’re honest with yourself you’ll be able to calculate how much leeway is reasonable. But having the assurance of a budget that you stick to will be a weight off your mind as you don’t have to worry about the financial implications – you can relax and enjoy your trance experience without being distracted and that is priceless.
Is it possible to utilise hypnosis to enjoy hands free orgasms?
The short answer is yes, definitely (check out the videos here for evidence)
Ending there, however, wouldn’t make for a particularly interesting or informative so as I get asked about hands-free orgasms and hypnosis quite a bit I’m going to use this post to talk in a little more detail about hands free orgasms, how they work, and how I incorporate them into my sessions.
Most people tend to associate orgasms with ejaculation (particularly when it comes to men). It’s understandable as both experiences happen simultaneously, but although they are connected they’re not a single action. It is perfectly possible to enjoy a physical, pleasurable orgasm without ejaculating. As I like to say – all of the fun and none of the mess. In addition, it’s possible to enjoy an orgasm without physical stimulation (e.g. masturbating). Mind blown – am I right? Haha.
So – how does it happen? Well, I can only speak to how I incorporate this into my hypnosis sessions (others may do things differently) but the good news for you is it’s pretty straightforward. I essentially incorporate the orgasm (sans ejaculation) as a response to a given command/trigger/post-hypnotic trigger. So, when I have you in trance I essentially make a deal with your subconscious that when I say the “trigger” word/command (in this case “orgasm”), your body instantly, without consciously thinking about it, responds to my command with a physical (and very pleasurable) orgasm.
The benefit of doing things this way is that you can orgasm in trance, but the trigger/command can also be used as a post-hypnotic suggestion which means that it works out of trance as well. I often have a lot of fun randomly triggering my regular boys at unexpected moments during sessions just for fun. Of course, safety is also important so whenever I give a trigger like this it comes with the understanding that the triggers only work when I give them. This means you won’t be unexpectedly triggered at an inopportune moment.
Your mind essentially constructs your reality. By accessing your subconscious mind through hypnosis I am able to tap into the immense power that your mind holds, but which your conscious mind only has limited access to. You may feel an orgasm in your cock, but it all starts in your mind.
As with any trigger, some people are able to enjoy this in their first session, for others it can take longer. It’s different for everyone. I’ve had some clients who have taken a couple of sessions to come to terms with the revelation of hands-free orgasms and fully embrace its potential, but have been able to enjoy other triggers instantly. Conversely I’ve had a boy who mastered the orgasm trigger in the first session, but took a while to feel comfortable with amnesia.
Everyone is different. I can’t emphasize this enough. If a trigger doesn’t “take” as well as you hoped in the first instance it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” in any way. It simply means your subconscious needs more time to adjust to/embrace the possibilities and that is absolutely fine. I have a lot of tools in my “hypnotic toolbox” and if one strategy doesn’t have the desired effect then I have plenty of other options to achieve the desired result.
The important thing is to have fun – to enjoy the experience and not sweat the small stuff. Just because something doesn’t happen right now don’t mean it won’t happen. The fear of failure holds a lot of people back and acts as a barrier to achieving what you want but if you work with a hypnotist who you trust and embrace a little patience when required (not always easy, but the rewards are more than worth it!) then you can enjoy pleasurable experiences – like hands-free orgasms – beyond your wildest imagination.
For instance I’ve also trained some of my boys to cum on command (sometimes without even needing to implant a specific trigger…isn’t it amazing what can be achieved when you truly submit to the power and control of a wonderful hypnotist?). Not only do they cum on command, but they can cum multiple times (in quick succession) if I command it. As I have already said – amazing things are possible, and the hardest part is taking that first step and engaging with the hypnotist, booking a session. I always recommend live sessions (at least initially) for hands-free orgasms as it means I can tailor the experience specifically to you. If you’ve tried MP3 triggers in the past without success it doesn’t mean you’re not capable – it simply means that your odds of success will skyrocket with a live session where the hypnotist can work with you in real time.
I’m also able to say to my boys (completely truthfully) that it gets better every time. Because it does. The more you engage with a specific hypnotist. The more you engage with that relationship, the more trust you build and the more possibilities for pleasure you unlock. It really is that simple.
If you’re interested in booking a Skype session with me, then check out my Skype page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/Skype/
If you’re curious about others experiences of Skype sessions with me then take a look at my Testimonials page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/testimonials/
The concept of erotic hypnosis is still a relatively niche one, and not as of yet particularly well developed. It’s growing, for sure, but there are still grey areas where delineations are somewhat blurred. The differentiation between what constitutes a hypnoDomme and an erotic hypnotist are excellent examples of this.
The two terms are often used interchangeably to mean “more or less” the same thing, but I’m not convinced that that’s the case. To my mind, if you’re a hypnoDomme then by the very nature of what you do you’re likely also an erotic hypnotist but I also believe it is possible to be an erotic hypnotist without also identifying as a hypnoDomme.
Why? Well, it all comes down to the specialities of each profession. To aim to make things a little clearer I’ve provided brief (and subjective as they’re purely based on my own interpretation) definitions of hypnoDommes and erotic hypnotists to hopefully better illustrate my point of view.
HypnoDommes are hypnotists who specialise in working within the BDSM niche. They utilise hypnosis as a means to heighten/deepen typical D/s (Dominant/submissive) scenarios. The focus is on creating a richer dynamic, and introducing trance allows a hypnoDomme to deepen their control (with the consent of their subject) which allows for an often much more intense experience. What were traditionally physical aspects of the BDSM scene – for example bondage – can also be brought into play as a hypnoDomme can use the power of a hypnotic trance to convince a subject that they are appropriately bound (and have the subject believe this absolutely) even in the absence of physical restraints.
Erotic Hypnotists are more generalised. The application of hypnosis is for the purpose of eroticism/arousal and whilst this can encompass D/s elements, it is by no means confined to them. Hands-free orgasms, for example, can be used by HypnoDommes as an expression of control but they do not need to be framed this way. An erotic hypnotist could induce a hands-free orgasm purely because it is a pleasurable/erotic experience. Some people do not like the idea of being submissive/giving up control and with erotic hypnosis they do not have to. Giving up control is not a requirement to enjoy trance. It’s simply an added option that exists if you want to utilise it.
Personally I identify as an erotic hypnotist who can and does incorporate being a hypnoDomme when it’s appropriate to do so. Why do I identify myself this way? Because my main focus is pleasure, and (as long as it’s legal of course), I don’t discriminate how that pleasure is enjoyed. Some people’s pleasure incorporates submissive elements, but for others it doesn’t and I like being able to embrace both sides. Besides, even when I do incorporate D/s elements into trances, my style of domination is typically much more subtle and nuanced than the average Domme. I’m not overt, I don’t make demands…but I still manage to accept and exert complete control where appropriate.
I hope that as the erotic hypnosis/hypnoDomme scene continues to grow the delineations and nuances between the two will continue to become more pronounced as I do worry sometimes that people who may be interested in Erotic Hypnosis are perhaps discouraged by the assumption that submission/surrender and other D/s elements are required. Erotic hypnosis is open to all who enjoy pleasure in all its forms. As a hypnotist I can literally make your fantasies become your realities and let’s be honest– how cool is that?!
I would love to hear your thoughts on the similarities/differences between hypnoDommes and erotic hypnosis so please feel free to share in the comments below.
Okay…this is going to be an interesting one for me to write as I myself do not identify as submissive. But, I already wrote a blog post entitled “What does it mean to be Dominant?” so I felt it was only fair to attempt to address the balance. In view of my non-submissive nature I suspect this blog is going to end up being more of a “what are my expectations of someone who approaches me as a submissive”, but we’ll see. (I don’t pre-write my blog posts – much like writing my scripts I simply let the words flow and see where I end up.
The main problem I have in trying to pin-point what it means to be submissive is that submissiveness covers such a wide range of potential attitudes and behaviors. Googling a dictionary definition for submission tells me that submission is defined as someone who is “ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive”. That’s a good start, but off the top of my head I can think of so many different…categories I guess?….of submission:
- Role-play: People who enjoy role-playing submission but are not actually submissive.
- Sexually submissive: enjoy being submissive in the bedroom but not necessarily outside of it.
- Selfish submissives: those who think they are submissive but want to be so on their own terms and attempt to dictate what they want.
- Submit but not serve: typically alpha guys (in my experience) who are looking for a temporary escape from being in control and always wanting to make decisions.
- Lifestyle submissives: people who identify as being submissive as a lifestyle choice. Have a desire to obey and serve.
Now, as I am not really “in” the BDSM scene there may well be other variations I’ve missed out. If so, forgive me.
In my own experience in the world of hypnoDommes and Erotic Hypnosis I have come across all sorts of individuals. I admit I always slightly raise an eyebrow if someone I barely know tells me they want to submit to me/be my slave (if only because I don’t have slaves and if you knew me well enough to offer genuine submission you’d know that. But I digress…). Mentally I always file such individuals as role-players or selfish. That’s not to say my position won’t change – it may transpire they’re new to the scene and figuring everything out, for example – but first impressions do count for a lot.
To my mind making the decision to consciously submit to someone else and hand over control is a big deal. It is a decision that should be borne of mutual understanding and trust, and it is imperative that the Dominant party understands and appreciates the responsibility they are taking on in accepting the gift of submission.
If you genuinely identify as submissive then you possess an innate desire to serve and please, but it is important that you do not allow others to take advantage of your desires. To my mind a healthy balance (to a degree) should also be maintained which is why I do not encourage my boys to obey without question (unless it’s a post-hypnotic trigger…in that case they really don’t have any choice in the matter). I encourage dialogue, and I encourage development and expression of their own thoughts and opinions. Being submissive does not and should not mean that you are not allowed to hold/express your own opinions. Yes, the Dominant party may make the majority of the decisions and may have the final say, but the submissive’s perspective and opinion should always be taken into account. Expressing an opinion does not make you any less submissive. Quite the opposite – it shows a willingness to engage in the relationship (as long as it is done respectfully and constructively).
I know that some Domme’s prefer to take as much control as possible; make as many decisions as possible and generally maximise any potential for control. Some subs also enjoy and appreciate this. But there is a whole range of possibilities. I am more laid back and quietly assertive but my boys do not question that I am the Dominant in the relationship. I encourage them to express themselves and be the best possible version of themselves that they can be as their behavior not only reflects back on me as their Domme, but as their Domme I also have a responsibility to them – to take care of them. It’s a responsibility I take very seriously. I also personally do not want a slave who always does everything I ask. I want my boys to feel confident to challenge me when appropriate – they may be right, they may not but I like knowing that they feel confident enough in our dynamic to do so. I want my submissive boys to feel empowered by their submission, not a slave to it. I know that if I ask or command my boys to do something they will do so because they genuinely enjoy serving me and they know I would never take advantage. Other Dommes prefer a more “traditional” submissive who is very openly submissive in their attitude. There is no right or wrong. I am sure that my attitude horrifies some of a more traditional subbie nature, but those traits are the same that my boys – that have chosen me and I have accepted – happen to find my attitude syncs well with their desires and expectations and when you get that mesh of ideals – that’s when the magic happens!