Whilst it’s true to say that I operate primarily as an erotic hypnotist rather than a hypnoDomme (meaning the Dominant/submissive [D/s] dynamic is optional), I do enjoy truly special relationships with some very good boys. A genuine relationship takes time to establish as trust and mutual understanding must be given the opportunity to evolve and flourish, but the results can be truly incredible.
As a case in point, I enjoyed a lovely Skype hypnosis session (find more info here) earlier today with a very good boy who I have known and interacted with for a good while. We enjoy a strong D/s dynamic and he has found a great deal of comfort, reassurance and pleasure in choosing to surrender to my control. I take great pride in empowering my submissive boys – encouraging them to be the best version of themselves that they possibly can be, and I love watching my boys gain confidence through submission and truly shine.
In the Skype hypnosis session we enjoyed today, we tried a little experiment. I put him into trance and had him write a note for his conscious mind. His conscious mind would have no recollection of writing the note, nor any input into its contents. I gave no guidance or suggestions regarding what to write – the content of the note was entirely up to his subconscious mind to share.
The results ended up being so beautiful and eloquent I immediately asked my boy if he would mind me (anonymously) sharing it and he kindly agreed.
Here it is:
“This butterfly is auxillary, it flutters up, and shows you something.
The benefits of being owned are numerous and inobvious. There is the level of relaxation it can bring, the peace of mind, the feelings of focus and devotion.
The incomprenensible depth of pleasure.
The sensual pleasure of exploring yourself, knowing your Mistress is exploring with you and that the depths you feel are exposed to her control, that your pleasure is her pleasure, that you can be consumed and utterly give yourself to her power.
That you can appreciate the beauty of her voice, her body and her mind, her will, her power overwhelming you with bliss, your consciousness overwhelmed and subject to her power, her beautiful power and strength, and grip.
The pleasure of relinquishment, of feeling her will at your core, of feeling her words as your own thoughts, of her words becoming your own mind.
The freedom of not having to think, to worry, to strategize, but just to obey what is given to you as a sensual gift”.
Such a beautifully written, eloquent expression of his experience of submission to me. Of being owned by me. I wanted to share it with you to give you a glimpse into the possibilities that exist in submission to me…the potential for pleasure and personal growth.
Every dynamic is different – every boy chooses to express their submission in different ways – but submission is a gift, and there is pleasure to be had in both gifting yourself through submission to a Domme you trust as well as reaping the benefits of submission and surrender.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this glimpse into the possibilities.
Thoughts? Opinion? Questions? Please share by leaving a comment (or two) below. Thank you.
I’ve touched on the concept of humiliation before in my blog and why I don’t use/encourage it but someone contacted me today and raised a really interesting point about humiliation and a perspective I’d never considered so I want to share it (and my thoughts) with you. It does get a little personal and may be triggering as there is talk of emotional abuse so please be aware of that before you continue reading.
The main idea was that yes, humiliation in BDSM focuses on the “traditional” forms of humiliation – put downs/asking the sub to complete humiliating tasks, etc, but that there is another more insidious form: the humiliation of being “found out” by people who aren’t aware of your kink and who don’t approve.
The idea that kinksters are aware of at least the possibility of humiliation – that its risk is a natural consequence of engaging in activities in which society “as a whole” does not particularly understand or approve. The potential shame of being mocked or humiliated or ostracized for your indulgences.
I’d never really considered this aspect so it took me by surprise. I had to think to myself – honestly – would I be ashamed if people found out? I sort of half expected the answer to be yes due to years of social conditioning, but in all honestly whilst I think I would potentially have to deal with some negative impacts/feelings (depending on who found out – most of my “circle” (friends/family) knows, but some don’t) but I don’t believe that shame/humiliation would be among them. Annoyance, frustration, potentially anger at the fall-out (some people may cut me out of their lives, some may throw insults at me) but not shame.
That kind of intrigued me until I realized the rather depressing reason behind why I think, for me, humiliation doesn’t come into it. Growing up I endured a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of my parents – especially my mother. I don’t want or expect pity for this. It happened, I’ve dealt/am dealing with it. I only mention it here as context for the larger point I am trying to make about perspectives on humiliation and why I never use humiliation.
Growing up humiliation was the norm for me – it was my comfort zone because it reinforced my beliefs about myself which were fed to me by my folks. Receiving a compliment was at best uncomfortable and at worst almost painful because it jarred with what I “knew” to be “true” about myself. I thought people were mocking me, or were working an “angle” because they wanted something from me. It’s a very unpleasant and fucked up head-space and I suspect a lot of desire for humiliation stems from abuse because the abuser has trained the sub to believe that they deserve to be humiliated – that it is their “norm” – and it becomes, in a sick and twisted way, their “comfort zone”. Being humiliated reinforces their beliefs about themselves rather than challenging them with compliments which ironically become uncomfortable.
It’s taken me many years but I am in a much better head-space – I’ve more or less made peace with myself and accepted how fucked up the emotional abuse from my parents was (they still do it, but I’m now largely immune). It took a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of pain if I’m honest, to get to a more positive, self-accepting place. I still suffer from depression and anxiety but I’m also much more confident in myself and enjoy accepting genuine compliments (unless they’re about my feet. I’m not a fan of my feet which is why you never see them. Haha).
Building my self worth took a lot. Changing my inner monologue from “you’re worthless” to “you’re amazing” took a lot. I’m not arrogant and I recognize I’m not perfect but I like to celebrate my positives. I encourage my boys to do the same. It’s why I *never* use humiliation. I know that dark place. I understand the twisted “pleasure” and how poisonous it is. I will never, ever inflict that on one of my boys. I see my role as a Domme as being one of encouragement and support – in lifting them and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves they can be. I want to build their confidence and self-esteem rather than tearing it down. I don’t need to humiliate my boys to be in control and I don’t want to.
I also believe this is why I am not humiliated at the prospect of being “found out”. I am not ashamed of what I do and why should I be? Someone may not agree with my lifestyle but that does not mean I don’t have every reason to be proud of what I do. I am a purveyor of hypnotic pleasure. I transform fantasies into reality. Go ahead – tell me that is not an absolutely insanely amazing thing to be able to do!
Thoughts and comments are always appreciated – please feel free to share below.
Is it possible to utilise hypnosis to enjoy hands free orgasms?
The short answer is yes, definitely (check out the videos here for evidence)
Ending there, however, wouldn’t make for a particularly interesting or informative so as I get asked about hands-free orgasms and hypnosis quite a bit I’m going to use this post to talk in a little more detail about hands free orgasms, how they work, and how I incorporate them into my sessions.
Most people tend to associate orgasms with ejaculation (particularly when it comes to men). It’s understandable as both experiences happen simultaneously, but although they are connected they’re not a single action. It is perfectly possible to enjoy a physical, pleasurable orgasm without ejaculating. As I like to say – all of the fun and none of the mess. In addition, it’s possible to enjoy an orgasm without physical stimulation (e.g. masturbating). Mind blown – am I right? Haha.
So – how does it happen? Well, I can only speak to how I incorporate this into my hypnosis sessions (others may do things differently) but the good news for you is it’s pretty straightforward. I essentially incorporate the orgasm (sans ejaculation) as a response to a given command/trigger/post-hypnotic trigger. So, when I have you in trance I essentially make a deal with your subconscious that when I say the “trigger” word/command (in this case “orgasm”), your body instantly, without consciously thinking about it, responds to my command with a physical (and very pleasurable) orgasm.
The benefit of doing things this way is that you can orgasm in trance, but the trigger/command can also be used as a post-hypnotic suggestion which means that it works out of trance as well. I often have a lot of fun randomly triggering my regular boys at unexpected moments during sessions just for fun. Of course, safety is also important so whenever I give a trigger like this it comes with the understanding that the triggers only work when I give them. This means you won’t be unexpectedly triggered at an inopportune moment.
Your mind essentially constructs your reality. By accessing your subconscious mind through hypnosis I am able to tap into the immense power that your mind holds, but which your conscious mind only has limited access to. You may feel an orgasm in your cock, but it all starts in your mind.
As with any trigger, some people are able to enjoy this in their first session, for others it can take longer. It’s different for everyone. I’ve had some clients who have taken a couple of sessions to come to terms with the revelation of hands-free orgasms and fully embrace its potential, but have been able to enjoy other triggers instantly. Conversely I’ve had a boy who mastered the orgasm trigger in the first session, but took a while to feel comfortable with amnesia.
Everyone is different. I can’t emphasize this enough. If a trigger doesn’t “take” as well as you hoped in the first instance it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” in any way. It simply means your subconscious needs more time to adjust to/embrace the possibilities and that is absolutely fine. I have a lot of tools in my “hypnotic toolbox” and if one strategy doesn’t have the desired effect then I have plenty of other options to achieve the desired result.
The important thing is to have fun – to enjoy the experience and not sweat the small stuff. Just because something doesn’t happen right now don’t mean it won’t happen. The fear of failure holds a lot of people back and acts as a barrier to achieving what you want but if you work with a hypnotist who you trust and embrace a little patience when required (not always easy, but the rewards are more than worth it!) then you can enjoy pleasurable experiences – like hands-free orgasms – beyond your wildest imagination.
For instance I’ve also trained some of my boys to cum on command (sometimes without even needing to implant a specific trigger…isn’t it amazing what can be achieved when you truly submit to the power and control of a wonderful hypnotist?). Not only do they cum on command, but they can cum multiple times (in quick succession) if I command it. As I have already said – amazing things are possible, and the hardest part is taking that first step and engaging with the hypnotist, booking a session. I always recommend live sessions (at least initially) for hands-free orgasms as it means I can tailor the experience specifically to you. If you’ve tried MP3 triggers in the past without success it doesn’t mean you’re not capable – it simply means that your odds of success will skyrocket with a live session where the hypnotist can work with you in real time.
I’m also able to say to my boys (completely truthfully) that it gets better every time. Because it does. The more you engage with a specific hypnotist. The more you engage with that relationship, the more trust you build and the more possibilities for pleasure you unlock. It really is that simple.
The concept of erotic hypnosis is still a relatively niche one, and not as of yet particularly well developed. It’s growing, for sure, but there are still grey areas where delineations are somewhat blurred. The differentiation between what constitutes a hypnoDomme and an erotic hypnotist are excellent examples of this.
The two terms are often used interchangeably to mean “more or less” the same thing, but I’m not convinced that that’s the case. To my mind, if you’re a hypnoDomme then by the very nature of what you do you’re likely also an erotic hypnotist but I also believe it is possible to be an erotic hypnotist without also identifying as a hypnoDomme.
Why? Well, it all comes down to the specialities of each profession. To aim to make things a little clearer I’ve provided brief (and subjective as they’re purely based on my own interpretation) definitions of hypnoDommes and erotic hypnotists to hopefully better illustrate my point of view.
HypnoDommes are hypnotists who specialise in working within the BDSM niche. They utilise hypnosis as a means to heighten/deepen typical D/s (Dominant/submissive) scenarios. The focus is on creating a richer dynamic, and introducing trance allows a hypnoDomme to deepen their control (with the consent of their subject) which allows for an often much more intense experience. What were traditionally physical aspects of the BDSM scene – for example bondage – can also be brought into play as a hypnoDomme can use the power of a hypnotic trance to convince a subject that they are appropriately bound (and have the subject believe this absolutely) even in the absence of physical restraints.
Erotic Hypnotists are more generalised. The application of hypnosis is for the purpose of eroticism/arousal and whilst this can encompass D/s elements, it is by no means confined to them. Hands-free orgasms, for example, can be used by HypnoDommes as an expression of control but they do not need to be framed this way. An erotic hypnotist could induce a hands-free orgasm purely because it is a pleasurable/erotic experience. Some people do not like the idea of being submissive/giving up control and with erotic hypnosis they do not have to. Giving up control is not a requirement to enjoy trance. It’s simply an added option that exists if you want to utilise it.
Personally I identify as an erotic hypnotist who can and does incorporate being a hypnoDomme when it’s appropriate to do so. Why do I identify myself this way? Because my main focus is pleasure, and (as long as it’s legal of course), I don’t discriminate how that pleasure is enjoyed. Some people’s pleasure incorporates submissive elements, but for others it doesn’t and I like being able to embrace both sides. Besides, even when I do incorporate D/s elements into trances, my style of domination is typically much more subtle and nuanced than the average Domme. I’m not overt, I don’t make demands…but I still manage to accept and exert complete control where appropriate.
I hope that as the erotic hypnosis/hypnoDomme scene continues to grow the delineations and nuances between the two will continue to become more pronounced as I do worry sometimes that people who may be interested in Erotic Hypnosis are perhaps discouraged by the assumption that submission/surrender and other D/s elements are required. Erotic hypnosis is open to all who enjoy pleasure in all its forms. As a hypnotist I can literally make your fantasies become your realities and let’s be honest– how cool is that?!
I would love to hear your thoughts on the similarities/differences between hypnoDommes and erotic hypnosis so please feel free to share in the comments below.