by queenofdreams | May 14, 2023 | Hypnosis
Whilst I offer live sessions over Skype and not in person, elements of non-verbal communication and observation and analysis of body language can and are still communicated over video. Beyond this, where in person sessions do occur the use of touch can also be incorporated into sessions. I wanted to write a blog post which talks a little about these elements and how they are used in the realm of hypnosis and more specifically erotic hypnosis.
Erotic hypnosis is a form of hypnosis that is focused on enhancing sexual pleasure and arousal. While many people associate hypnosis with verbal suggestions and commands, non-verbal communication is also a powerful tool that can be used to create a deep sense of connection and intimacy between the hypnotist and the person being hypnotized. This blog post will explore the power of non-verbal communication in erotic hypnosis and discuss how touch, eye contact, and body language can be used to enhance sexual pleasure and arousal.
Non-verbal communication refers to the use of body language, touch, and other non-verbal cues to convey information and create a sense of connection with another person. In erotic hypnosis, non-verbal communication is particularly important because it can help to create a safe and supportive environment in which the person being hypnotized can relax and feel comfortable exploring their sexual desires and fantasies. As I mentioned at the start of this post, touch doesn’t apply to my sessions which are done remotely over video, but in a broader context of erotic hypnosis and in-person sessions touch can be a valuable tool which is why I have included it in this post.
The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication in Erotic Hypnosis
A powerful aspect of non-verbal communication in erotic hypnosis in-person sessions is touch. Although touch isn’t really relevant to my work, it is a powerful tool that can be used to create feelings of intimacy and connection between the hypnotist and the person being hypnotized. Through touch, the hypnotist can communicate a sense of safety and support, which can help to create a relaxed and receptive state in the person being hypnotized. It is important to remember that prior consent must be obtained before the session starts to allow the hypnotist to touch the subject. Whilst many people are okay with being touched, some may not be. Also it’s just good manners to ask permission/forewarn people. Typically if I am doing in person sessions with new clients then I would ask permission in advance and state under what circumstances and where I would potentially touch them. E.g. “Would it be okay if during our session I occasionally touched your hand/forearm/forehead/knee (could be one, could be multiple) to assist in deepening your trance and/or reinforcing triggers”. Depending on the situation I would also forewarn them when they’re in trance – for example by saying “in a moment I am going to lightly touch your right hand and when I do you will find yourself going even deeper into trance for me as a result”. The exact wording used will be situation specific but I wanted to give you an idea of how the situation broadly plays out.
Another important aspect of non-verbal communication in erotic hypnosis is eye contact. Eye contact is a powerful way to establish a sense of connection and intimacy between two people. When the hypnotist maintains eye contact with the person being hypnotized, it can create a sense of trust and openness that can help to facilitate the hypnotic process. I’ve found subjects also seek out eye contact with the hypnotist for reassurance. If you (the hypnotist) are relaxed, calm and focused, you’ll convey this through eye contact and encourage the subject to feel the same. Obviously eye contact shouldn’t be constant as that can have the opposite effect (can subconsciously signal unease, suspicion and/or aggression), but especially early in a session, checking in with short bursts of eye contact helps inspire confidence and connection.
Body language is also an important aspect of non-verbal communication in erotic hypnosis. The way the hypnotist carries themselves, the way they move, and the way they position their body can all communicate important information to the person being hypnotized. For example, if the hypnotist is slouching or appears disinterested, it may create a sense of discomfort or disconnection in the person being hypnotized. On the other hand, if the hypnotist appears confident and engaged, it can help to create a sense of safety and trust. As a hypnotist I am also carefully monitoring the body language of my subject so I can ascertain how they’re feeling, what stage of trance they’re at, how receptive they are to my suggestions and which of my suggestions are or aren’t working effectively. I can then use this information to further tailor the session specifically to the individual I am working with to improve odds of success.
Using Non-Verbal Communication in Erotic Hypnosis
There are many ways in which non-verbal communication can be used to enhance sexual pleasure and arousal in erotic hypnosis. To summarise what I spoke about above, here are a few examples:
- Touch: Touch is a powerful way to create intimacy and connection between the hypnotist and the person being hypnotized. The hypnotist may use touch to create a sense of safety and support, or to enhance feelings of sexual pleasure and arousal. For example, the hypnotist may use light touch to enhance sensitivity to physical sensations, or to create a sense of anticipation and excitement. Achieving informed prior consent is of vital importance.
- Body language: Body language can communicate important information about the hypnotist’s mood, intentions, and level of engagement. The hypnotist may use confident and engaged body language to create a sense of safety and trust, or to enhance feelings of sexual excitement and arousal. The hypnotist will also monitor body language of the subject to allow for adjustments and tailoring of approach to ensure higher odds of success.
Potential Risks and Precautions
While non-verbal communication can be a powerful tool in erotic hypnosis, it is important to take precautions to minimize the risks involved. One potential risk of using touch, eye contact, and body language in erotic hypnosis is the possibility of creating a false sense of intimacy or connection between the hypnotist and the person being hypnotized. It is important to remember that the hypnotist is not a romantic or sexual partner, and to maintain appropriate boundaries at all times.
In addition, it is important to obtain informed consent from the person being hypnotized before using any form of non-verbal communication. I know I’ve touched on this earlier in the blog, but it’s important and worth emphasising again and expanding on it a little. Seeking consent means explaining the risks and benefits of the hypnotic process, and giving the person being hypnotized the opportunity to ask questions and express any concerns they may have. It also involved carefully explaining what the subject can expect so they understand what it is they’re potentially consenting to.
Finally, it is important to remember that not all forms of non-verbal communication will be appropriate or effective for every person. Everyone has different preferences and comfort levels when it comes to touch, eye contact, and body language, and it is important to respect these differences and adjust your approach accordingly.
Conclusion
Non-verbal communication is a powerful tool that can be used to enhance sexual pleasure and arousal in erotic hypnosis. Through use of non-verbal communication options such s touch, eye contact, and body language, the hypnotist can create a deep sense of connection and intimacy with the person being hypnotized, helping them to relax and explore their sexual desires and fantasies in a safe and supportive environment.
However, it is important to remember that non-verbal communication should be used with caution, and only with the informed consent of the person being hypnotized. By taking the necessary precautions and respecting individual differences and preferences, hypnotists can use non-verbal communication to create powerful and transformative hypnotic experiences for their clients. I know I certainly have a lot of fun with my sessions and the lovely feedback I receive from my clients suggest they thoroughly enjoy their sessions with me as well.
If you’re curious about enjoying a live session with me, be sure and check out the live sessions and testimonials pages on my site.
by queenofdreams | Oct 28, 2021 | Uncategorized
If you train as a hypnotist, the odds are that you will be taught a number of specific inductions (methods a hypnotist can use to induce trance). Typically these will include techniques like visualisation (encouraging the subject to visualise specific things), progressive relaxation (having the subject gradually relax every part of their body from head to toe, or toes to head), countdowns (counting the client down into trance) or a combination of these and similar. In many instances hypnosis students are taught to simply read outloud pre-written scripts based upon the aforementioned ideas and in the worst case scenario never graduate beyond simply reading out scripts to clients (not going to lie – the thought alone of this makes me cringe).
Now – I am not here to belittle the techniques (except for “experienced” hypnotists reading to clients directly from scripts – that will always be wrong) as they definitely have their uses. They provide a solid foundation for new hypnotists to build their craft upon. They’re tried and tested techniques that work on a majority of individuals (though not all) when applied appropriately. They can also be used (for those who are curious enough) to understand exactly how hypnosis works and precisely why these styles of inductions work so well for so many.
But rarely in my experience are hypnotists taught or encouraged to move beyond the basic inductions they’ve been taught. As a hypnotist becomes more experienced they may tweak or adjust elements of these inductions, but it’s not common to see anyone break out, get creative and invent their own inductions. I guess the thinking is stick to what you know works, and there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with that approach, but as I mentioned earlier, these tried and tested techniques don’t work on everyone so what do you do when faced with a client who doesn’t respond to the techniques you’ve been taught? Many hypnotists will (wrongly) assume that the subject is bad/difficult to trance when this could not be further from the truth. The limitation does not lie with the client. It lies with the hypnotist.
In order to be a truly successful hypnotist you must be able to adjust and adapt your approach to meet the needs of your client. In many cases this can be achieved by tweaking the commonly used inductions you have been taught, but there is so much more potential with hypnosis for those who are adventurous enough to look beyond the horizons of their original teaching.
The question then becomes – how? How do you expand your hypnotic horizons and break away from the traditional inductions you’ve been taught. Surely these specific techniques are taught and used for a reason? Aren’t you risking failure if you stray from the tried and tested path and strike out on your own? Well…yes. But you’re also potentially achieving a great deal more understanding, success and achievements.
In terms of *how* one goes about breaking free from traditional inductions, I’m not going to lie – there is no easy way or shortcuts. You need to invest time in furthering your learning by understanding the mechanics of how hypnosis works. Inductions are techniques that utilise specific actions and package them in a useable way. If you look beyond the induction and into exactly what underpins the induction and makes it work successfully, then you’re a long way to understanding the principles of hypnosis and the specific techniques that underpin the often successful inductions.
Once you understand the mechanics – how hypnosis works “under the hood” so to speak – then you can begin to build new frameworks/inductions of your own design based off the intrinsic principles of successful trance. It’s a process. You’re not going to be able to manage perfectly original and 100% successful inductions overnight. What you will be able to do is begin to branch out from the more traditional inductions. Perhaps change up some elements, experiment, throw in a few original ideas and incorporate them into inductions you know work. Basically what you’re aiming for is to experiment and have fun.
If you try out an idea and it doesn’t go to plan, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Quite the opposite. You’ve learned something really important. If your subject doesn’t trance, it’s not a problem. Not everyone responds to the same induction techniques. But the more you experiment, the more you understand how to read people and get a better idea of what techniques are more likely to be successful. This can be a matter of trial and error, but as long as you remain calm and professional it is not a disaster which cannot be overcome. You simply pivot, explore different techniques and discover what works for your client. The way you frame the experience (for instance explaining that everyone is different and responds differently and so you’re working out how best you can help them) and your attitude will have a much bigger impact than you assume.
The more you experiment, the more you learn. The more you learn the more you understand. And the more you understand, the more confident you will become in exploring more original aspects to inductions and eventually more original inductions themselves.
The key is to be confident and not allow yourself to be dissuaded when things don’t go to plan. Everything is a learning experience and opportunity and the benefits of getting comfortable with breaking free from traditional inductions far outweigh the negatives. As a hypnotist you’ll be far better placed to help your clients by tailoring inductions specifically to them and their needs rather than relying on generic inductions and as a result your sessions will be much more successful. Trust me – I know. I took this path and now excel at successfully trancing people who have previously struggled. I’ve had multiple clients come to me after trying to trance for 20+ years (more than one was 40+ years) and because I’ve taken the time to explore and experiment, I have been able to successfully trance them where other hypnotists could not.
Breaking free from traditional inductions may not be quick or easy, but I promise you (as someone who has been a practising hypnotist for nigh on a decade now) it’s definitely worth it!
If you have any questions, please email me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com
Want to book a session with me to experience what I have talked about first hand? Check out the live sessions page here on my website
by queenofdreams | Aug 2, 2019 | Hypnosis
This blog post evolved into a direction that is mainly aimed at helping hypnotists understand why confusion inductions are not always necessary – or indeed appropriate – for trancing analytical subjects, but I hope hypnosis subjects also find the information useful/insightful. If, after reading, you have any questions or thoughts please leave comments below. Thank you!
Speak to your average hypnotist about analytical people and you tend to get one or a variety of the following comments: that they’re “bad” or “difficult” subjects and that the only way you can successfully trance them is with the use of confusion inductions.
Those comments? They’re all absolute rubbish. Those of you who know me know that I absolutely love working with analytical subjects and years of hypnosis experience has consistently shown me how amazing and capable analytical subjects can be. I have written plenty of blog posts on the subject to date.
In my many years (going on for a decade now) of being a hypnotist I also rarely use confusion inductions and yet have successfully hypnotised hundreds (I stopped counting years ago) of analytical subjects. How do I achieve that? Why do I go against the widely held/accepted belief that confusion inductions are the only reliable way to hypnotise analytical subjects?
Well, again, to be blunt – because it’s nonsense. Confusion inductions can be useful for trancing analytical people but so can many others. It’s most certainly not the only way to successfully trance analytical subjects. Far from it!
So – why don’t I tend to use confusion inductions if they are so popular? The main reason is that analytical people are usually also dealing with varying degrees of anxiety and confusion inductions can be overwhelming and/or uncomfortable in such situations. Of course some subjects will really enjoy confusion inductions but to me they often feel like beating the conscious mind into submission by overwhelming the mind of a subject who, if analytical is likely already prone to overthinking. Sending an overthinking brain into meltdown isn’t the most pleasurable way of inducing trance and as pleasure is a priority for me, I tend to turn to other ways of inducing trance.
This brings us to the million dollar question – how exactly do I trance analytical subjects? Unfortunately there is no clear cut simple answer as I tailor every induction to the individual subject but I can offer some general pointers. Firstly, and I cannot emphasize this enough the pre talk is important. I’m generalizing here but for the most part, analytical subjects like structure. They like to know what to expect. And even if it’s not “necessary” it’s good practice in general for all kinds of subjects to prepare them and let them know what will happen as well as dispelling some common myths (e.g. the myth that trance is like sleep to give one example). If the subject has an idea of what to expect then it helps to keep them focused and their mind is less likely to wander.
Secondly, never tell an analytical subject to “relax” and “not think about anything”. That is one of the worst things you can say to an analytical subject. It’s akin to telling someone not to think of a pink elephant. What’s the first thing you think about?
Finally, it’s okay if analytical people want to analyse their trance experience. Doing so won’t distract them or hinder the process in any way (assuming of course the hypnotist is competent and used to working with analytical subjects).
There are many different types of inductions you can use, and there’s no “one size fits all” approach. The induction is less important than the subject and what they need to enjoy a successful trance. If you go into a session determined to use a particular induction then you’re limiting your success rate (and potentially traumatizing the subject) whereas if you go in with an open mind, speak with your subject/client about what they need (they may not know how to articulate it, but again, a competent, experienced hypnotist will know what questions to ask to get the answers they need) then your success rate potentially skyrockets as you’re tailoring the induction to your client, and not trying to force your client to engage in a particular induction.
As I said before, some clients will respond well to confusion inductions and I am not dismissing such inductions out of hand. They remain a potentially fun and useful tools (I use confusion inductions with some of my regular clients for fun because I know how to do so in a more light-hearted way and I also know they trust me). What I am suggesting is that confusion inductions are not a blunt tool that can/should be applied to all analytical subjects. Get creative, have fun with inductions, experiment and learn to tailor your approach as a hypnotist to what your client actually needs, not what you assume they need.
by queenofdreams | Jan 17, 2019 | Hypnosis, Uncategorized
Hypnosis not being effective (for whatever reason) is a common worry/concern that I see regularly voiced by hypnotists and subjects alike. Sometimes it’s because a specific suggestion hasn’t worked. Other times the subject simply doesn’t trance at all.
With this in mind I wanted to offer some advice and reassurance to both hypnotists and subjects based on my years of experience. Most of the advice is aimed at hypnotists as it is hypnotists who need to take the responsibility for ensuring that hypnosis is successful. It still holds value for subjects, however, as it gives you an insight into hypnotists behavior and what is/isn’t appropriate when it comes to handling unexpected situations.
I hope you find it useful.
If you’re a subject:
The most important thing is not to panic. I can promise you that you’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve been hypnotising people for many years and I’ve yet to come across a “bad” subject so I can say with a fair amount of confidence that you’re a good subject. “But!” I can hear you cry “If I am a good subject, why can’t I be hypnotised?”. The answer is you can be, but just like learning any new skill, different people learn in different ways. The reasons for your past difficulties may simply be that the induction/hypnosis techniques that your hypnotist was using aren’t effective for you. It doesn’t make you a bad subject, nor does it mean that the techniques are bad – all it means is that they weren’t the right techniques for you. There is no one single technique that is effective on 100% of people. Think of techniques like keys – all we need to do is find the right key to unlock your potential to enjoy trance.
Do me a favor – if a hypnotist ever tells you (or even implies) that it’s somehow your fault and that you are a bad subject then ditch them immediately! They’re simply trying to cover up their own shortcomings by blaming you.
If things aren’t progressing as you expected then don’t be afraid to communicate this. A good hypnotist will be able to reassure you and utilise other induction/hypnosis techniques to achieve the desired results.
If you’re a hypnotist:
Again, my primary advice is do not panic. Things don’t always go to plan and that is okay. If you panic you’ll panic/unsettle your subject and you don’t want that. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to flex your hypnotic muscles and find a creative way to problem solve.
A friend of mine likened being a hypnotist to being a swan – on the surface you look graceful, smooth and composed but under the surface you can be paddling like a crazy thing. Good news for you is that people only see what’s above. Maintain your composure and even if you do make a mistake, odds are most people won’t notice/it will be overlooked. I’ve been hypnotising people for years and my mistakes are part of what has made me a great hypnotist because I learned from them. I also learned how to not let on that things hadn’t gone as planned and the vast majority of times nobody noticed because I was able to brush it off and divert effectively. Your confidence is just as effective at allowing people to trance as any technique you use.
If something doesn’t work then there will be a reason. Stay calm, remain composed and appreciate that this can be resolved but that it is your responsibility to do so. Don’t you dare try and blame your subject/client when things don’t go to plan. Instead, outwardly suggest to the client that the outcome was expected/intended whilst internally working out what didn’t go to plan, why and what you can do to remedy the matter or if it was minor brush over it and move on and/or go back to basics and explain/demonstrate in a different way.
Knowing the best way to respond to an unexpected situation comes with experience so don’t beat yourself up if with hindsight you feel you could have responded better – it’s a learning experience and longer term, as long as you take on board the lessons, will make you a better hypnotist. No one is perfect. No one. Doesn’t matter how experienced they are. Even the most experienced hypnotists have moments where things don’t go to plan. What you learn with time, however, is that how you respond is far more important than what initially happened.
Focus on what the client needs from you to help them experience trance. Guide them from their understanding and shape your approach to what they need rather than what you want. You can also set yourself up for success by utilising proper planning and preparation. Minimise opportunities for things to go awry by spending adequate time on the pre-talk, ensuring that the subject understands what to expect. Also use this as an opportunity to build genuine rapport and establish trust. This may well be a new experience for your subject and this may well be accompanied by some level of anxiety. Taking the time to answer questions and explain what to expect will make the subject more comfortable and reduce the opportunity for unplanned outcomes during the session.
Another thing to note – If you’re used to simply reading from scripts then you’re severely limiting yourself and likely also doing a disservice to your subject/client. Reading off a script won’t equip you with the skills or confidence to handle situations appropriately when things inevitably don’t quite go to plan.
Don’t be afraid to experiment. Literally anything has the potential to be turned into an induction. If something you try doesn’t work then it’s not a failure – it’s a valuable lesson and learning experience. I know I touched on this earlier but it’s worth emphasizing again. Analyse what didn’t go to plan and why and how you can improve for next time.
Any thoughts, questions or comments? Please do share them below.
by queenofdreams | Nov 27, 2018 | Hypnosis, Uncategorized
I wanted to give you all a “peek behind the curtain” as it were. Hypnosis may seem magical (and in many ways it is), but it isn’t magic. You don’t need to believe in it for it to work (just ask the *many* skeptics I’ve tranced over the years). If anything being better informed can allow you to relax and enjoy the experience more. So – I’ve listed some common induction techniques (techniques that induce trance) with explanations of how they work and pros and cons.
This list is compiled through a combination of personal experience and research. I don’t personally use many of these techniques for various reasons (e.g. I specialise in working with analytical people many of whom would find a relaxation induction boring and uneffective, and the handshake technique I find ethically dubious so have deliberately avoided it) but they are all useful to know. I primarily use a conversational induction (I will be writing a separate blog about this so keep an eye out) as a base and then “freestyle”, tailoring my approach specifically to the individual I am working with. I can incorporate standard techniques or develop new ones on the fly based on my years of experience and understanding of how the underpinning principles of hypnosis work and how I can use them to my advantage. It’s liberating, great fun, and best of all – very effective!
1. Relaxation
This is a simple, straightforward and commonly used technique where the hypnotist encourages the subject to relax, often via a variation of the “progressive relaxation induction” which is basically exactly what it sounds like. Often the hypnotist will suggest that the subject relaxes each part of their body independently – talking them through systematically relaxing their head, jaw, shoulders…and so on and so forth until every part of their body is relaxed. Hypnotists often suggest that subjects relax their minds and try not to think.
Pros: Very popular technique that works well with the majority of people. Gentle and unrushed.
Cons: Doesn’t work well with analytical people as they tend to find it boring and predictable. Can take a long time.
- Handshake Technique
This rapid induction technique was made famous by Milton Erikson. It uses a “pattern interrupt” technique by disrupting what is considered a common social norm (in this case a handshake). The idea is that by interrupting a social action so common it’s practically automatic/muscle memory (usually by tugging the subjects hand as they reach out to shake hands), the subconscious is shocked/knocked off balance and momentarily more vulnerable/open to suggestion, giving the hypnotist an opening to give suggestions to direct the mind in the desired direction (e.g. a suggestion issued in a commanding voice to trance, followed up with softer repetitive guidance and reassurance).
Pros: Works incredibly quickly; very dramatic so great for performances.
Cons: Some hypnotists attempt without obtaining prior consent; the “shock” of the induction can be uncomfortable for some people.
- Visualisation
This is another commonly used technique for inductions. The idea is that you get the client to visualise a safe, peaceful place and focus on the details. Some hypnotists will use guided imagery to reinforce the trance – e.g. descending a staircase. Typically the hypnotist will describe the scenario that the subject is to imagine (e.g. a beach, walking through a forest, floating in a sea…whatever it is) and the subject is expected to follow along and immerse themselves in the visualisation. The idea is that the subject will become more relaxed and will begin to enter trance as they follow the hypnotists guidance and immerse themselves in the scene they are being encouraged to visualise.
Pros: A gentle, relaxing technique;Easy to learn the basics from a hypnotists perspective; works well with the majority of people.
Cons: Inexperienced hypnotists can get overly confident and reliant on the technique without fully understanding or appreciating how or why it works; hypnotist could inadvertently use imagery that is uncomfortable for the client (e.g. talking about water and sinking when the client has a fear of drowning); often a boring technique for analytical people as it’s predictable and slow.
- Arm Levitation Technique
A classic Ericksonian technique. You begin by asking the client to close their eyes and then ask them to allow themselves to become aware of a difference in feeling between their arms. Some hypnotists will direct and use/incorporate visualisation techniques (e.g. “imagine a red helium balloon tied to your right arm, lifting it higher”). Others are more permissive (e.g. “I want you to allow yourself to become aware of one arm feeling lighter than the other. Allow your mind to focus on how light that arm feels. I don’t know if it is your left arm or your right arm that is feeling lighter and lighter, but I know you know which arm it is, don’t you?”). Either way, the end result is that the arm lifts. You can also incorporate the dropping of the arm as a deepener (as the arm drops you will go deeper into trance. Once your arm settles in your lap you will be deep in trance).
Pros: Technique is a good “convincer” (proof to client that they are in trance); tried and tested technique developed by a true pro.
Cons: Tricky balance for new hypnotists between being confident and over-confident; takes skill and experience to not panic if client doesn’t respond as anticipated – can catch out inexperienced hypnotists.
- Eye Fixation
The client is encouraged to focus their attention solely on a particular object/point (either asked by hypnotist to choose themselves – e.g. a particular spot on the wall – or directed to focus on something specific either static or moving). A common example would be a pocket watch. The swinging watch keeps the conscious mind occupied, leaving the conscious mind open to suggestion (there are also other techniques that can be incorporated into swinging objects that can encourage trance but I don’t want to destroy all the mystery!).
Pros: Very common technique – well known and works for a lot of people purely because they associate hypnosis with swinging watches. The power of the mind at work!; Easy to master for the hypnotist – a very simple induction that plays a lot on people’s assumptions of hypnosis and how it works.
Cons: Not enough to always appropriately engage an analytical mind; can perpetuate common misconceptions about hypnosis and how it works.
What are your thoughts on the list I’ve compiled? Any favorites? Techniques I’ve missed out? I’d love to hear what you think so share your comments below.
