Fun/Memorable Hypnosis Sessions #1: Hypnotising my first “difficult” client

I absolutely love what I do (hypnosis) and wanted to share some highlights of fun/memorable sessions. This story is part of a series where I recount some fun/memorable hypnosis sessions I have enjoyed over the years.  All client identities are kept 100% anonymous.

I had a client come to me a few years ago – very nervous. An older gentleman, he had been interested in hypnosis for almost 30 years and had been actively trying to experience trance for over 20 years with no success.  I recall he was fidgeting and reluctant to make eye contact. Simultaneously excited at the prospect of enjoying trance and resigned to the fact that based on multiple previous experience with other hypnotists it wouldn’t work, he was nervous, conflicted and far from what many would deem a “good” candidate to work with.  After all, what hypnotist wants to take on a client who has seen multiple hypnotists for many years and yet never been able to trance?

Well – me, as it turns out.  I really wanted to work with him.  I am a firm believer in the potential of trance. Of all the possibilities for pleasure that exist in this special experience and I guess I’ve also never been one to turn down a challenge.  When people try and tell me that I can’t do something or that something can’t be done, oftentimes my response has been to say “okay” and then proceed to attempt it. I figure that often there’s a lesson to be learned, even if I don’t achieve the outcome I am expecting.

So, with that in mind I agreed to enjoy a Skype session with this new client who had never tranced before.  I knew going in that none of the “typical” inductions would work. No doubt many hypnotists before me had already tried them (obviously without success) so I had to come up with something different.  And I did.

I sketched out some potential ideas before the session, but I decided not to go into too much detail with any single idea as I wanted to be flexible – to be able to have the ability to explore, see what worked and adapt to the signals the client was offering me.  I wanted to be able to be flexible and responsive rather than relying on following a “tried and tested” common induction.

Not going to lie – it was a challenge.  The client was very nervous and consistently reiterated he wasn’t sure that this would work.  It became obvious to me that launching straight into trance would only put him on edge due to the expectations based on previous experiences.  As a result, I decided to take things slow and focus on putting him at ease. I’ve learned over the years that relaxation isn’t a requirement for enjoying trance, but being confident in the person hypnotising you is.  I gave him time to get to know me. To ask questions. Gradually he became less tense and worried. We talked about all sorts of things ranging from how he became involved in hypnosis right the way through to his hobbies.

Soon enough the conversation began to flow more smoothly and he became much calmer.  He was less directly focused on trance and instead simply enjoying our conversation. Over time his breathing naturally slowed and deepened a little. He relaxed more without direct prompting from me.  I noticed other subtle hints and signs that suggested he was receptive (if not consciously aware of this fact) to exploring trance.

I took things gradually.  There was no rush and initially I didn’t make direct suggestions or commands. I allowed him to explore how his experience was evolving without dictating its speed or direction.  Instead I was his guide. I was there to support and reassure him. Remind him that he didn’t need to “try”.

Over time his confidence grew and by the end of our session he’d not only experienced deep trance for me, but I had been able to give him post-hypnotic triggers that could be used (solely by me for safety reasons) even when he was not in trance.  They were simple – for example the command “trance” would send him instantly back to a trance state – but effective and the beaming smile on his face once he realised he had finally achieved this experience he had been dreaming of for so, so long was one of pure joy.  He was like a child at Christmas – so happy and excited. For my part, I was also really happy that he had been able to experience and enjoy trance.

Since then I have built a solid reputation as someone who is able to successfully hypnotise people who have previously struggled to enjoy trance. I accomplish this by using a more relaxed, conversational style and tailoring my approach specifically to the individual I am working with rather than relying on some of the more typical/common inductions such as progressive relaxation and countdowns.  I really do love what I do and feel incredibly lucky to be able to offer my clients the opportunity to enjoy such a special experience.

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If you have enjoyed reading this post, please consider leaving a tribute as a thank you.

If you are interested in enjoying a session yourself, then I recommend you take a look at my Skype page for more information.

Please feel free to leave a comment below if you have something you want to share.

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How To Ensure Post-Hypnotic Suggestions Are Effective

I get asked a lot about post-hypnotic suggestions and how effective they are so I thought it may be helpful to share my own experiences and what I’ve learned over the years in terms of how to ensure that any post-hypnotic suggestions given will be effective and if they don’t work for whatever reason (after all, nothing in life is guaranteed except death and taxes), how to respond, learn and adapt to increase your odds of future success.

 

Most of the blog posts I’ve written to date have been aimed at hypnosis subjects but interestingly this topic is aimed at hypnotists, meaning that if you’re reading this as a subject you get a “peek behind the curtain”, as it were.  Don’t worry – this won’t make hypnosis any less effective. If anything, trance will become more effective as you begin to understand and trust the mechanisms behind it.

 

You’ll find I use the term client/subject – this is because hypnotists have different preferential terms that they use.  There’s no right/wrong term but in my own mind I tend to refer to clients as those seen in a professional capacity and subjects in a more informal setting.  Others may have different definitions, however. It’s mainly semantics but I wanted to offer up an explanation.

 

The reason this blog post is aimed at hypnotists as well is because it is the hypnotists responsibility to ensure that directions/instructions are given in an appropriate and understandable way.  Whenever a subject/client is having problems trancing, 99.9% of the time that is down to the hypnotist and their technique, not the client/subject.

 

I’d say that the foundation to successful post-hypnotic suggestions is trust.  You’re far more likely to be agreeable to a situation if you trust the motives of the person giving it, as well as trusting their ability.  If you know the hypnotist, trust them and have positive associations with the suggestion they’re giving you then you’re setting yourself up for success.  From the hypnotists perspective every action you take should be with the benefit of your client/subject in mind. Anything you suggest should be beneficial/pleasurable for the person you are trancing.

 

Suggestions for post-hypnotic suggestions should also be discussed ahead of time (before the subject is in trance).  There’s 2 reasons for this:

 

(i) Obtain consent (consent is vitally important)

(ii) Hear the person speak the words that their brain would associate as being results of the instructions that they have been given. E.g. hypnotist says “why don’t we explore creating amnesia” and the client responds “oh, like forgetting my name or something?”. The client/subject has just told you that they define amnesia as forgetting their name so are much more likely to be receptive to the command.

 

It’s very important as a hypnotist that you establish rapport with your client/subject.  They need to feel comfortable trusting you and your expertise. You also need to ensure that there are open channels of communication between the two of you so that the client/subject feels comfortable expressing what they are and are not comfortable with and what is/isn’t working for them.  You want to ensure that they are comfortable with the suggestions you give.

 

I would suggest also making a point of reassuring the client/subject that they won’t completely/permanently forget as this idea can panic some people and mean that amnesia doesn’t work as well or at all.  Memories are always stored (and remain) safely in the subconscious mind, even if the conscious mind isn’t aware of them (the same way we don’t often consciously think about things like breathing). The conscious mind is allowed to remember to forget (or forget to remember), and can do so easily and safely because the information/memories are safely secured in the subconscious mind and can be retrieved at any time.

 

Finally, it’s important to remember that if a suggestion doesn’t work perfectly or go 100% to plan the first time it doesn’t mean either you or the client have failed in any way.  Change perspective and use it as a learning experience and a way to identify areas for improvement. Also remember to reassure the client/subject that it is not their fault and they have done absolutely nothing wrong.  As the hypnotist the effectiveness for suggestions lies largely with you. Having said that, we are human and fallible – plus, mistakes are how we learn. If something doesn’t go 100% to plan it is an opportunity for you to learn, which in turn allows you to improve the experience for your client/subject moving forward.  Mistakes aren’t fatal and as long as you learn from them, they are vital to helping you improve.

 

What do you think?  Comments? Questions? Share them in the comments section below.

 

Yes, Hypnosis is Real

I think I sort of take it for granted sometimes that hypnosis is real, genuine and effective.  Because I work with it every day and see the effects first hand to me it’s simply a given. I love what I do, but I’m also aware that complacency can be an easy trap to fall into so I was pleasantly surprised when I received the following review from one of my boys after a session. Before he came to me he had been trying to trance for 20+ years.

 

“Last night was special.  I think that, after so many years of trying to trance, I had formed (without recognizing it) the belief that hypnosis is somehow unreal.  Not that it is fake — but rather that it was some mixture of just quietly though consciously accepting most of what a hypnotist says. Maybe, according to this belief, it is more like listening to a really good story, and getting caught up in the reading, but not necessarily finding oneself swept away, or responding so powerfully (and without conscious inter-mediation) to suggestions, triggers, and commands.  If the story is sexy, you might cum. If it calls for a little audience participation, you might play along. But it wouldn’t be the case that you could just be dropped into a deep and infinitely submissive trance by a word or three. Your kind willingness to answer all my questions about what is and isn’t possible is helping me, I think, to re-learn what hypnosis is. Experience here is leading belief: there are the ever present feelings of submission, and my absolute and immediate responsiveness to your commands; belief is starting, finally, to catch up with reality”.

 

It was interesting to me that his pattern of experiences had given him the opposite perspective to mine.  He saw hypnosis as a fantasy – something that could be engaged with in a roleplay capacity but nothing more.  It made me think about how our experiences shape our perspectives and expectations. This boy wasn’t simply sceptical about hypnosis – he literally believed it didn’t exist. That it was a fantasy. So imagine his shock when he discovered that it is, after all, real.

 

I think some people think me saying that I transform fantasies into reality is a marketing ploy, but I genuinely mean what I say and those who have enjoyed live sessions with me will be able to attest to the truth of my words. Trance is real. Hypnosis is real. It works. Not every hypnotist will be able to hypnotise you effectively but that doesn’t discredit the phenomenon itself. I specialise in working with “difficult” and/or analytical subjects (basically those who have previously struggled to trance and/or been erroneously told by other hypnotists that they are somehow “bad” subjects) and yet I have a near perfect success rate (which I am very proud of, I hasten to add).

 

You’re skeptical? So what?  It doesn’t mean I can’t hypnotise you. Hypnosis isn’t some kind of magic (though it certainly can feel magical at times). You don’t need to believe in it for it to work.  You don’t even need to be relaxed. Mind going a million miles a minute? Not a problem.  The fact remains: hypnosis is real. Hypnosis works.  Don’t believe me? Go and check out my testimonials page. Plenty of people have taken time to confirm that not only does hypnosis work – I excel at what I do and they reap the benefits of that.

 

Am I being arrogant?  Perhaps. I personally see it as confidence underpinned by many years of experience. I know what I am doing. I am capable of delivering results and you are able to benefit from my experience.  Tried before with other hypnotists and not been successful? It doesn’t mean hypnosis doesn’t work/trance doesn’t exist. It simply means you haven’t found a hypnotist whose style works for you, yet.  Research, explore – invest time and you’ll enjoy the rewards of your efforts. The potential of hypnosis is limited only by your imagination.

 

If you’re curious about hypnosis and have questions you can always email me at info@queenofdreamshypnosis.com

 

I’m friendly and more than happy to answer any queries you have.  I love hypnosis and am very passionate about what I do. You deserve to enjoy the pleasure of trance and I would love to be the one to guide you on that journey of discovery.

 

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

I’ve touched on the concept of humiliation before in my blog and why I don’t use/encourage it but someone contacted me today and raised a really interesting point about humiliation and a perspective I’d never considered so I want to share it (and my thoughts) with you.  It does get a little personal and may be triggering as there is talk of emotional abuse so please be aware of that before you continue reading.

The main idea was that yes, humiliation in BDSM focuses on the “traditional” forms of humiliation – put downs/asking the sub to complete humiliating tasks, etc, but that there is another more insidious form: the humiliation of being “found out” by people who aren’t aware of your kink and who don’t approve.

The idea that kinksters are aware of at least the possibility of humiliation – that its risk is a natural consequence of engaging in activities in which society “as a whole” does not particularly understand or approve.  The potential shame of being mocked or humiliated or ostracized for your indulgences.

I’d never really considered this aspect so it took me by surprise. I had to think to myself – honestly – would I be ashamed if people found out?  I sort of half expected the answer to be yes due to years of social conditioning, but in all honestly whilst I think I would potentially have to deal with some negative impacts/feelings (depending on who found out – most of my “circle” (friends/family) knows, but some don’t) but I don’t believe that shame/humiliation would be among them.  Annoyance, frustration, potentially anger at the fall-out (some people may cut me out of their lives, some may throw insults at me) but not shame.

That kind of intrigued me until I realized the rather depressing reason behind why I think, for me, humiliation doesn’t come into it.  Growing up I endured a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of my parents – especially my mother. I don’t want or expect pity for this.  It happened, I’ve dealt/am dealing with it. I only mention it here as context for the larger point I am trying to make about perspectives on humiliation and why I never use humiliation.

Growing up humiliation was the norm for me – it was my comfort zone because it reinforced my beliefs about myself which were fed to me by my folks.  Receiving a compliment was at best uncomfortable and at worst almost painful because it jarred with what I “knew” to be “true” about myself. I thought people were mocking me, or were working an “angle” because they wanted something from me.  It’s a very unpleasant and fucked up head-space and I suspect a lot of desire for humiliation stems from abuse because the abuser has trained the sub to believe that they deserve to be humiliated – that it is their “norm” – and it becomes, in a sick and twisted way, their “comfort zone”. Being humiliated reinforces their beliefs about themselves rather than challenging them with compliments which ironically become uncomfortable.

It’s taken me many years but I am in a much better head-space – I’ve more or less made peace with myself and accepted how fucked up the emotional abuse from my parents was (they still do it, but I’m now largely immune).  It took a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of pain if I’m honest, to get to a more positive, self-accepting place. I still suffer from depression and anxiety but I’m also much more confident in myself and enjoy accepting genuine compliments (unless they’re about my feet. I’m not a fan of my feet which is why you never see them. Haha).

Building my self worth took a lot. Changing my inner monologue from “you’re worthless” to “you’re amazing” took a lot.  I’m not arrogant and I recognize I’m not perfect but I like to celebrate my positives. I encourage my boys to do the same.  It’s why I *never* use humiliation. I know that dark place. I understand the twisted “pleasure” and how poisonous it is. I will never, ever inflict that on one of my boys.  I see my role as a Domme as being one of encouragement and support – in lifting them and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves they can be. I want to build their confidence and self-esteem rather than tearing it down.  I don’t need to humiliate my boys to be in control and I don’t want to.

I also believe this is why I am not humiliated at the prospect of being “found out”.  I am not ashamed of what I do and why should I be? Someone may not agree with my lifestyle but that does not mean I don’t have every reason to be proud of what I do.  I am a purveyor of hypnotic pleasure. I transform fantasies into reality. Go ahead – tell me that is not an absolutely insanely amazing thing to be able to do!

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated – please feel free to share below.

The Importance of Budgeting For Hypnosis Sessions

This may seem like a rather dry/boring topic to cover but it is a very important one.  It’s very easy, especially if you’re new to the scene, to get caught up in the flurry of excitement and pleasure and lose track of how much you’re spending.  You risk overspending/spending beyond your means and losing control of the experience which is really not something that you want.

I want to offer you some advice, support and suggestions to help you really make the most of your hypnosis experience so that it can be an enjoyable and sustainable pleasure in your life.  Please note that I am not a qualified financial adviser.  I am not offering formal advice – simply friendly suggestions.

If you already have a hypnotist in mind to work with, then you should know their pricing for the various services they offer (mp3s, videos, customs, phone sessions, skype sessions and/or in-person sessions depending on the hypnotist).  If you don’t already have a hypnotist in mind then I would recommend starting by reading my blog post “How to select a suitable hypnotist” first, then returning to this blog post as a follow up.

Step 1: Set your budget

So – let’s say you have a hypnotist you enjoy and want to support.  First step – what is your budget? This can either be a hard and fast limit, or relatively flexible. Though if you add in “flex”, also add a firm cap. Say your budget is 300 per month maximum for hypnosis (I’m plucking a random figure out of the air), but you feel you can “stretch” that, place an absolute cap – so 350.  Unless you are incredibly disciplined, don’t assume you can “borrow” from your budget month to month…so you spend 400 one month and assume you can rein yourself in and spend 200 the next month to balance things out. That’s a dangerous path to go down and not one i would recommend.

It’s important that you are realistic with your budget and only budget what you can legitimately afford for what is ultimately an “entertainment” expense.

Step 2: Formalise your “wish list”

what works for you and what do you want?  Do mp3’s work for you? Is that all you’re after? Or would you like a live session to help you improve your ability to trance?  Do you want/need one session (or a handful) to achieve what you have in mind, or would you like to make live sessions a regular thing?  You can always speak with your hypnotist/hypnoDomme to get their input and suggestions, but at the end of the day you’re compiling your wishlist.

Also factor in whether you expect to send tributes and if so, how much and how often.  You may not be sure at this stage so it’s perfectly okay to take an educated guess. Your wish list is a work in progress and is flexible.  At this stage we are looking to get a better idea of what you want so we can see if we can make it tally with your budget, which is the next step.

Step 3: Bringing together your wishlist and budget

Alright…so, first thing to do is tally up how much your “ideal” month costs. So could be purchase of three recordings, two one hour live sessions and a 150 tribute. Recordings will vary, so you can average them out…for the sake of this example let’s say the average 20 each. Live sessions cost 150 each.  We decided earlier that our budget was 300 a month so already it’s obvious that we are way over.

That’s okay – it’s given us a starting point to work from.  So we could drop to one, one hour live session and adjust the tribute and lower it to bring us in budget…or two live sessions and no recordings or tributes. There’s no right or wrong way to work this, and the formula may change month to month as well…it’s simply intended as a flexible way to help you maintain your budget.

Why is it so important to have a budget?

Basically because when you’re caught up in something new, fun and insanely pleasurable it’s very easy to get carried away. If you blow your budget in the first month, it may spook you and put you off hypnosis and if it doesn’t and you keep on spending without budgeting you risk overspending in the longer-term which will have its own negative consequences which we obviously want to avoid.

Budgets don’t have to be rigid – you know yourself and if you’re honest with yourself you’ll be able to calculate how much leeway is reasonable. But having the assurance of a budget that you stick to will be a weight off your mind as you don’t have to worry about the financial implications – you can relax and enjoy your trance experience without being distracted and that is priceless.