I do worry sometimes that humanity and reason are too easily cast aside when certain people indulge in fantasy. I mean, there’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying a fantasy – quite the opposite – but sometimes it does come at the expensive of the object of that fantasy. My reasoning is based on the D/s dynamic, but also hypnosis as a fetish. As a hypnoDomme I have lost count of the number of times over the years I have endured people being rude, trying to manipulate me, top from the bottom (pretend to be submissive whilst simultaneously attempting to dominate/control interactions). For what it’s worth, I don’t think the majority of those encounters were deliberately malicious. I think that some people get so lost in their fantasy that they forget that they’re dealing with a real, living breathing person. Especially over the internet where people do have a tendency to become “keyboard warriors” when hidden behind the safety of a computer screen, which additionally acts as a further barrier to “reality”.
Except….for every ignorant moron who does behave inappropriately (luckily they’re relatively uncommon – I’ve just been doing hypnosis for a long time!) there are many, many more who remain polite, respectful and are an absolute joy to interact with. They’re polite and respectful but also take great pleasure in engaging with hypnosis, so there’s a shared passion to be explored and enjoyed and when this is done in an environment which fosters mutual respect and communication it can be a really beautiful thing.
I think that both the hypnotist and the subject will enjoy the experience more if they acknowledge each other’s humanity – there is a perception among some that hypnoDomme’s are somehow “other” – they sit aside/above subjects and demand to be worshipped. Some Dommes may actively encourage such behaviour and if they explicitly request this then great – the ground rules for engaging them have been made clear, but please, please, please don’t automatically assume all hypnotists are the same! We’re people, we’re human and we have our own interests, wants and needs. The best way for you to discover if a hypnotist matches up with what you’re looking for is to ask, rather than simply assume. Any hypnotist worth their salt will be happy to answer any questions you have, and once you’ve asked your questions you’re in a much better position to make an informed decision about whether a hypnotist/hypnoDomme is right for you. If you don’t ask and simply assume then you run the risk of upsetting them and/or incurring their wrath, which you really don’t want to do ;).
I say this as someone who straddles the hypnotist/hypnoDomme divide. Yes, some of my work has Domme elements, but at the end of the day it’s not how I identify myself. If you ask me, I’ll say I am a hypnotist who loves sharing pleasure in all its forms, and who enjoys experimenting. My experimenting happens to cover erotic and recreational hypnosis, so some of it does fall under the “hypnoDomme” remit, but at the same time I am not a lifestyle hypnoDomme. You wouldn’t know all this about me unless you asked (or, as in this case I chose to share), so it is worth doing your research. Also – and I like to think other hypnotists would agree with me here – respect and manners cost nothing, but they go a long way to showing us that you value and respect us for us, not because we’re the embodiment of some selfish little fantasy you have. That respect is worth a lot.
This is a bit of a random blog, even for me, but as it is an issue which crops up more than I’d like (not a lot, but still too much) I just wanted to share a gentle reminder that whilst, yes, I am f*cking awesome as a hypnotist (modesty out the window there for a second!), I am also a human being who appreciates manners and respect. You’ll also find that you can engage with myself and likely others on a deeper level because you’ve chosen to behave this way, so it’s a win-win.
Anyhow…hope you enjoy my somewhat meandering musings and I would love to hear your thoughts 🙂