The benefits of being owned

Whilst it’s true to say that I operate primarily as an erotic hypnotist rather than a hypnoDomme (meaning the Dominant/submissive [D/s] dynamic is optional), I do enjoy truly special relationships with some very good boys. A genuine relationship takes time to establish as trust and mutual understanding must be given the opportunity to evolve and flourish, but the results can be truly incredible.

As a case in point, I enjoyed a lovely Skype hypnosis session (find more info here) earlier today with a very good boy who I have known and interacted with for a good while.  We enjoy a strong D/s dynamic and he has found a great deal of comfort, reassurance and pleasure in choosing to surrender to my control. I take great pride in empowering my submissive boys – encouraging them to be the best version of themselves that they possibly can be, and I love watching my boys gain confidence through submission and truly shine.

In the Skype hypnosis session we enjoyed today, we tried a little experiment. I put him into trance and had him write a note for his conscious mind. His conscious mind would have no recollection of writing the note, nor any input into its contents.  I gave no guidance or suggestions regarding what to write – the content of the note was entirely up to his subconscious mind to share.

The results ended up being so beautiful and eloquent I immediately asked my boy if he would mind me (anonymously) sharing it and he kindly agreed.

Here it is:

“This butterfly is auxillary, it flutters up, and shows you something.

The benefits of being owned are numerous and inobvious. There is the level of relaxation it can bring, the peace of mind, the feelings of focus and devotion.

The incomprenensible depth of pleasure.

The sensual pleasure of exploring yourself, knowing your Mistress is exploring with you and that the depths you feel are exposed to her control, that your pleasure is her pleasure, that you can be consumed and utterly give yourself to her power.

That you can appreciate the beauty of her voice, her body and her mind, her will, her power overwhelming you with bliss, your consciousness overwhelmed and subject to her power, her beautiful power and strength, and grip.

The pleasure of relinquishment, of feeling her will at your core, of feeling her words as your own thoughts, of her words becoming your own mind.

The freedom of not having to think, to worry, to strategize, but just to obey what is given to you as a sensual gift”.

Such a beautifully written, eloquent expression of his experience of submission to me. Of being owned by me.  I wanted to share it with you to give you a glimpse into the possibilities that exist in submission to me…the potential for pleasure and personal growth.

Every dynamic is different – every boy chooses to express their submission in different ways – but submission is a gift, and there is pleasure to be had in both gifting yourself through submission to a Domme you trust as well as reaping the benefits of submission and surrender.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this glimpse into the possibilities.

Thoughts? Opinion? Questions? Please share by leaving a comment (or two) below. Thank you.

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

A History of Humiliation, and Surpassing It

I’ve touched on the concept of humiliation before in my blog and why I don’t use/encourage it but someone contacted me today and raised a really interesting point about humiliation and a perspective I’d never considered so I want to share it (and my thoughts) with you.  It does get a little personal and may be triggering as there is talk of emotional abuse so please be aware of that before you continue reading.

The main idea was that yes, humiliation in BDSM focuses on the “traditional” forms of humiliation – put downs/asking the sub to complete humiliating tasks, etc, but that there is another more insidious form: the humiliation of being “found out” by people who aren’t aware of your kink and who don’t approve.

The idea that kinksters are aware of at least the possibility of humiliation – that its risk is a natural consequence of engaging in activities in which society “as a whole” does not particularly understand or approve.  The potential shame of being mocked or humiliated or ostracized for your indulgences.

I’d never really considered this aspect so it took me by surprise. I had to think to myself – honestly – would I be ashamed if people found out?  I sort of half expected the answer to be yes due to years of social conditioning, but in all honestly whilst I think I would potentially have to deal with some negative impacts/feelings (depending on who found out – most of my “circle” (friends/family) knows, but some don’t) but I don’t believe that shame/humiliation would be among them.  Annoyance, frustration, potentially anger at the fall-out (some people may cut me out of their lives, some may throw insults at me) but not shame.

That kind of intrigued me until I realized the rather depressing reason behind why I think, for me, humiliation doesn’t come into it.  Growing up I endured a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of my parents – especially my mother. I don’t want or expect pity for this.  It happened, I’ve dealt/am dealing with it. I only mention it here as context for the larger point I am trying to make about perspectives on humiliation and why I never use humiliation.

Growing up humiliation was the norm for me – it was my comfort zone because it reinforced my beliefs about myself which were fed to me by my folks.  Receiving a compliment was at best uncomfortable and at worst almost painful because it jarred with what I “knew” to be “true” about myself. I thought people were mocking me, or were working an “angle” because they wanted something from me.  It’s a very unpleasant and fucked up head-space and I suspect a lot of desire for humiliation stems from abuse because the abuser has trained the sub to believe that they deserve to be humiliated – that it is their “norm” – and it becomes, in a sick and twisted way, their “comfort zone”. Being humiliated reinforces their beliefs about themselves rather than challenging them with compliments which ironically become uncomfortable.

It’s taken me many years but I am in a much better head-space – I’ve more or less made peace with myself and accepted how fucked up the emotional abuse from my parents was (they still do it, but I’m now largely immune).  It took a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of pain if I’m honest, to get to a more positive, self-accepting place. I still suffer from depression and anxiety but I’m also much more confident in myself and enjoy accepting genuine compliments (unless they’re about my feet. I’m not a fan of my feet which is why you never see them. Haha).

Building my self worth took a lot. Changing my inner monologue from “you’re worthless” to “you’re amazing” took a lot.  I’m not arrogant and I recognize I’m not perfect but I like to celebrate my positives. I encourage my boys to do the same.  It’s why I *never* use humiliation. I know that dark place. I understand the twisted “pleasure” and how poisonous it is. I will never, ever inflict that on one of my boys.  I see my role as a Domme as being one of encouragement and support – in lifting them and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves they can be. I want to build their confidence and self-esteem rather than tearing it down.  I don’t need to humiliate my boys to be in control and I don’t want to.

I also believe this is why I am not humiliated at the prospect of being “found out”.  I am not ashamed of what I do and why should I be? Someone may not agree with my lifestyle but that does not mean I don’t have every reason to be proud of what I do.  I am a purveyor of hypnotic pleasure. I transform fantasies into reality. Go ahead – tell me that is not an absolutely insanely amazing thing to be able to do!

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated – please feel free to share below.

Are you a genuine submissive or a fetishist? Be honest.

An incredibly important, yet often overlooked aspect to enjoying erotic hypnosis involves giving careful and (arguably more importantly) honest consideration to what exactly it is you want to get out of the experience.

You could be indulging in erotic hypnosis for any number of reasons – curiosity, indulging a fetish/kink, exploring submission.  These are all perfectly reasonable and legitimate reasons. You may even not be sure yet exactly what it is you do want from the experience. That’s okay, too.

What is vitally important, however, is that you are honest with yourself and your hypnotist.  Honesty gives you a more genuine experience and allows your hypnotist to better tailor your experience to what you want.

I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have had clients tell me that their primary goal is submission – they want to submit to me and see hypnosis as a tool for deepening their submissive desires.  Fantastic – except when it’s not what you actually want, and instead your genuine intention is to play out a particular fantasy or kink. Playing out a fantasy or indulging in a kink isn’t inherently wrong in any way (I can’t begin to emphasize this enough), but misleading your hypnotist is.  It can lead to misunderstandings and potentially uncomfortable scenarios where the hypnotists suggestions don’t correlate with what you wanted. The hypnotist is working on the basis of you wanting to embrace genuine submission and you are working on the basis of playing out a specific fantasy you have.

Submission is just that – choosing to submit to the will/instruction of another individual who you trust and respect. Playing out a fantasy is selfish (and I don’t imply this in a negative way). You’re focusing on your own needs and desires rather than those of the person you are “submitting” to.  Genuine submission is selfless – your satisfaction comes from serving and pleasing the person you have chosen to submit to.

We all deserve to have our needs met (assuming they’re legal/don’t harm others and all other common sense disclaimers that may apply), and personally speaking as long as you’re honest with me about what you want I am often happy to oblige.  I am a big fan of pleasure and have built a career around making fantasies reality. It’s all good. Just don’t mislead me by telling me one thing when you mean/actually want something else as this kind of miscommunication can and does have consequences.  It can make situations uncomfortable when we’re not both on the same page and neither of us want that, do we?

If you’re not entirely sure what you want – tell me.  It’s okay. We can work it out together. Open, honest communication is absolutely essential to a healthy, fun and fulfilling experience.  It may be that you think you want to embrace submission but after dipping your toe in the water you find that actually you’re more attracted to the kink aspect and you don’t like the commitment of genuine submission.  Or perhaps you initially tell me that this is primarily a kink for you and then down the line you discover it’s become more and you really want to take things to the next level and genuinely submit and surrender to me and my control.

All these scenarios are fine as long as you are honest.  I know I keep hammering on about this, but it is so vitally important.  Honesty and communication are the foundations upon which a strong, healthy dynamic is built.  I am primarily an erotic hypnotist – I also include Domme elements with some clients. This means I can adapt depending on what needs/desires you communicate to me.

Being honest with me and yourself will allow allow you to enjoy a more immersive, fulfilling experience.  Take time. Think about what you want. Tell me. Simple!

What opinions do you have on this topic?  Have you spent a lot of time really thinking about what it is you want? I want you to share your thoughts in the comments below.

My 5 Favorite MP3’s right now

It’s been an interesting journey for me, hypnosis. For years it was a hobby until after 2 years of persuasion, a good friend friend encouraged me to go pro. I’ve been doing hypnosis full time for around a year now and it’s been such an incredible experience.  The freedom it’s given me – both in terms of creative expression and simply time (I set my own schedule) has been absolutely invaluable.

 

Whilst my primary focus has always been on the live Skype hypnosis sessions which I absolutely love (and which testimonials suggest are also loved by those who enjoy such sessions with me), I’ve also been building a catalogue of recordings.  I wanted to share my top 5 mp3’s right now. My favorites change often depending on my moods, but these 5 recordings (offered in no particular order of preference) are the ones that currently make my little heart happy:

 

Anticipation

This recording will always hold a special place in my heart as it was the first mp3 I ever made. It’s deliciously dark…a seductive story that leads you on a journey of obedience and surrender…enthralls you with the power of submission.  It’s a story that draws you in…nourishes and plays your desire to submit. I take you out for the evening…control you…and build the anticipation.

 

Down The Rabbit Hole

This is a confusion induction recording. Confusion inductions can be tricky to execute correctly – especially in recordings as you have no way of accurately gauging how the individual who is listening is responding. Still – I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and I have to say I am really, really pleased with how this recording has turned out.  It’s very effective but it’s also not too “hard” as some confusion inductions can be. It’s not intended to overwhelm and confuse in an uncomfortable way. It’s fun and ephemeral and whimsical…inviting you on a surreal journey loosely based on that of Alice in Wonderland. A really fun and unusual recording that I am very proud of.

 

Surrender & Obey

This was one of my first forays into the more direct dominant style which is typical of hypnoDommes. Generally my style is quieter…more seductive. But this time I wanted to explore my dominant side and let it out to play for a little while. “Surrender & Obey” was the result, and boy have you boys responded to it. It’s a consistently popular file and encouraged me to explore my darker, more directly dominant side more which led to…

 

FuckToy

This started out as an experiment. I wanted to push the limits of dominance and pleasure whilst still maintaining my boundaries. A direct, intense and dominant file, I’ve made sure there is absolutely no humiliation. That was very important to me. This recording took a long, long time to come together as I was pushing my own boundaries…discovering what was possible and how I could incorporate intense domination into my typically softer style and approach. But this recording, once finished, worked. And boy does it work! It’s probably one of my most popular recordings to date and I love that I get to completely unleash my inner Domme and remind you who is in control…moulding you to become my obedient fucktoy.  It’s deep and intense and powerful.

 

Mindgasm

If you know me then you know I love pleasure. I love encouraging people to enjoy and embrace pleasure. To discover new pleasure. To push the limits of pleasure…and that’s exactly what this recording does. Perfectly. You know what an orgasm is – well a mindgasm is the mental equivalent. Flooding your mind with waves of intense, orgasmic pleasure.  I love this recording because it’s so pleasure focused and because it is so, so effective.

 

You can explore these recordings and more by checking out my MP3 and Video shop as well as listening to samples.

 

If you’ve enjoyed any of the above recordings I would love to hear your thoughts so please share your comments here.

Hands Free Orgasms and Hypnosis

Is it possible to utilise hypnosis to enjoy hands free orgasms?

 

The short answer is yes, definitely (check out the videos here for evidence)

 

Ending there, however, wouldn’t make for a particularly interesting or informative so as I get asked about hands-free orgasms and hypnosis quite a bit I’m going to use this post to talk in a little more detail about hands free orgasms, how they work, and how I incorporate them into my sessions.

 

Most people tend to associate orgasms with ejaculation (particularly when it comes to men).  It’s understandable as both experiences happen simultaneously, but although they are connected they’re not a single action. It is perfectly possible to enjoy a physical, pleasurable orgasm without ejaculating.  As I like to say – all of the fun and none of the mess.  In addition, it’s possible to enjoy an orgasm without physical stimulation (e.g. masturbating). Mind blown – am I right? Haha.

 

So – how does it happen?  Well, I can only speak to how I incorporate this into my hypnosis sessions (others may do things differently) but the good news for you is it’s pretty straightforward.  I essentially incorporate the orgasm (sans ejaculation) as a response to a given command/trigger/post-hypnotic trigger.  So, when I have you in trance I essentially make a deal with your subconscious that when I say the “trigger” word/command (in this case “orgasm”), your body instantly, without consciously thinking about it, responds to my command with a physical (and very pleasurable) orgasm.

 

The benefit of doing things this way is that you can orgasm in trance, but the trigger/command can also be used as a post-hypnotic suggestion which means that it works out of trance as well.  I often have a lot of fun randomly triggering my regular boys at unexpected moments during sessions just for fun.  Of course, safety is also important so whenever I give a trigger like this it comes with the understanding that the triggers only work when I give them.  This means you won’t be unexpectedly triggered at an inopportune moment.

 

Your mind essentially constructs your reality.  By accessing your subconscious mind through hypnosis I am able to tap into the immense power that your mind holds, but which your conscious mind only has limited access to.  You may feel an orgasm in your cock, but it all starts in your mind.

 

As with any trigger, some people are able to enjoy this in their first session, for others it can take longer.  It’s different for everyone. I’ve had some clients who have taken a couple of sessions to come to terms with the revelation of hands-free orgasms and fully embrace its potential, but have been able to enjoy other triggers instantly. Conversely I’ve had a boy who mastered the orgasm trigger in the first session, but took a while to feel comfortable with amnesia.

Everyone is different. I can’t emphasize this enough.  If a trigger doesn’t “take” as well as you hoped in the first instance it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” in any way.  It simply means your subconscious needs more time to adjust to/embrace the possibilities and that is absolutely fine.  I have a lot of tools in my “hypnotic toolbox” and if one strategy doesn’t have the desired effect then I have plenty of other options to achieve the desired result.

 

The important thing is to have fun – to enjoy the experience and not sweat the small stuff. Just because something doesn’t happen right now don’t mean it won’t happen.  The fear of failure holds a lot of people back and acts as a barrier to achieving what you want but if you work with a hypnotist who you trust and embrace a little patience when required (not always easy, but the rewards are more than worth it!) then you can enjoy pleasurable experiences – like hands-free orgasms – beyond your wildest imagination.

 

For instance I’ve also trained some of my boys to cum on command (sometimes without even needing to implant a specific trigger…isn’t it amazing what can be achieved when you truly submit to the power and control of a wonderful hypnotist?). Not only do they cum on command, but they can cum multiple times (in quick succession) if I command it.  As I have already said – amazing things are possible, and the hardest part is taking that first step and engaging with the hypnotist, booking a session. I always recommend live sessions (at least initially) for hands-free orgasms as it means I can tailor the experience specifically to you.  If you’ve tried MP3 triggers in the past without success it doesn’t mean you’re not capable – it simply means that your odds of success will skyrocket with a live session where the hypnotist can work with you in real time.

 

I’m also able to say to my boys (completely truthfully) that it gets better every time. Because it does. The more you engage with a specific hypnotist. The more you engage with that relationship, the more trust you build and the more possibilities for pleasure you unlock. It really is that simple.

 

If you’re interested in booking a Skype session with me, then check out my Skype page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/Skype/

 

If you’re curious about others experiences of Skype sessions with me then take a look at my Testimonials page: www.queenofdreamshypnosis.com/testimonials/